Christmas presents, not status symbols

by Karen on December 2, 2008

Over the weekend, Tony and I were picking up a gift card as a Christmas gift for his grandparents. A month ago when we worked out our Christmas budget, we agreed upon an amount that we could afford. But as we stood in line I found myself second guessing our decision. “Do you think this is enough?” I asked him.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. I ask myself that question almost every time I buy a gift. “Is this enough?”

That’s a pretty silly question, though, isn’t it? Enough for what? After all, anybody who would receive a gift only to think it isn’t good enough really doesn’t deserve the gift at all.

Of course I wasn’t worried that Tony’s grandparents would feel that way. They’re probably not expecting anything from us at all, and they’ll be thrilled that we thought of them. So where does this doubt come from?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this doubt is more about me than it is about them. I enjoy giving gifts to the people I love because it makes them happy, but the desire to give more than I can afford comes from the same place as the desire to buy fancier things than I can afford.

It’s a tough thing to admit, but in the past I’ve used gift-giving as a status symbol. I’ve charged up credit cards and spent money I didn’t have on gifts. I’m sure the people who love me would be horrified if they knew that buying them gifts was putting me at financial risk. I certainly wouldn’t want anyone to risk their financial security to buy something for me.

I told myself that I was being generous. I wasn’t being generous, though. It was quite the opposite. Buying those fancy gifts made me feel good about giving them. Sure, it made the person who received the gift happy, but that’s not the real reason I was doing it. The people I love would be just as happy with a thoughtful gift that I could afford to give, whether it be something small, homemade, or even baked. The truth is, I liked the way it made me feel to give fancy gifts.

The past couple years have taught me valuable lessons about spending that I’ve learned to apply to gift-giving. Spend only what you can afford, and give only what you can give.

I’m still tempted to break my gift budget, but I have to remind myself that the people who love me would much rather I didn’t risk getting myself into trouble. After all, the safety and financial security of the people I love is much more important to me than receiving Christmas gifts. When I’m tempted to overspend, I remind myself that the people who love me want the same security and safety for me much more than they want presents.

The holiday season is a great time to make the people I love feel special. Spending more than I can afford just isn’t the way to do it.

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1 Corrie @ "Cents"able Momma December 2, 2008 at 1:06 pm

Interesting article…I never thought about it that way. I’ve often wondered if a gift was enough…and mostly because I’d gotten such a good deal on it (but the receiver doesn’t know that).

Corrie @ “Cents”able Momma’s last blog post..Mailbox Monday

2 Kacie December 2, 2008 at 2:24 pm

“After all, anybody who would receive a gift only to think it isn’t good enough really doesn’t deserve the gift at all.”

Lol, seriously. Brats!

Kacie’s last blog post..Saving on shipping packages

3 Dusty December 2, 2008 at 10:25 pm

Starting next year, we are going to budget our Christmas gifts and then just stick to the plan. No more worrying about whether it is enough or not. We need to start worrying about ourselves and our future.

Dusty’s last blog post..Top Entrecard Droppers – November (2008)

4 tiffanie December 3, 2008 at 4:43 pm

i get the same way…i LOVE buying for my friends and family. have to reign it in a bit though.

tiffanie’s last blog post..the one dollar give has begun!

5 Briana December 3, 2008 at 10:24 pm

Great point! I think that it is human to want to use things and even Christmas as a chance to show the people close to you that you care. It is also, however, about being thankful that you have people close to you and expressing it doesn’t necessarily have to include buying gifts you can’t afford.

I really enjoyed this article because just today I was feeling pressure about my own Christmas budget. After reading this and thinking about my own situation, I feel much better about this holiday season and can focus on the more important things that this season brings:)

6 theresa December 6, 2008 at 9:47 am

I have struggled with this so much in the past, and have felt a bit of it creeping in the year. I’m grateful for your writing this!

theresa’s last blog post..Thanks for playing…

7 Laura Leigh December 6, 2008 at 6:31 pm

This is a great post and something I’ve struggled with in the past. I’ve really worked hard to overcome that feeling this year, since we have cut our gift budget. Thanks for sharing this with us!

Laura Leigh’s last blog post..This and That

8 Nancy December 7, 2008 at 10:07 am

Thanks for this. It was a good reminder for me as hubby and I are planning to do the bulk of our gift buying on Friday.

Nancy’s last blog post..An Art Form

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