I’m back! Hopefully for good this time. Has it really only been seven days? It feels like we’ve been in our new home for at least a month.
Here’s what we’ve been up to.
We unpacked in a single weekend, which is no small feat since I’m a former journalist and I’m married to an English professor and our combined book collection fills no fewer than ten large boxes.
Remember how easy Judah made things for the first month? Well, things aren’t so easy now. My main problem right now? The boy wants to be in my arms all. the. time. I know this is a pretty typical problem for babies for the first couple months or so, but it’s incredibly challenging for me.
The cycle goes like this: I hold him until he falls asleep. Sometimes it takes forever. It’s especially challenging when he’s fussy. When he’s finally sleeping deeply, I put him down. Sometimes in his bassinet, sometimes in his swing, sometimes in the Pack ‘n Play. Then I try to get to one of the many tasks I’ve been putting off — laundry, tidying, dishes, etc. I have about 10 or 15 minutes of productivity before Judah stirs, realizes I’m no longer holding him, and commences to FREAK OUT. So I pick him up, calm him down, hold him until he’s sleeping again. And the cycle repeats from there. This goes on all day and night. Finally, I give up and just hold him, and he stays asleep for hours at a time in my arms. But I am exhausted, and nothing is done. Sigh.
The other day I discovered a website devoted to white noise. I should be their spokeswoman, because this website (and its iPhone app) seems to be the only thing that will calm him and keep him sleeping for longer than 10 or 15 minutes when I’m not holding him. Sometimes. I’ve been able to get an hour here and there since I started playing white noise for him during his naps. But it doesn’t always work.
I will happily take advice from those of you who’ve dealt with a baby who won’t be put down. How did you get anything done? And how long did it take for the stage to pass? I’m happy to hold him and interact with him when he’s awake, but I would love it if he’d let me put him down to sleep so I can get something done.
(Yes, I know babies shouldn’t sleep on soft bedding. He was only there long enough for me to snap a few pictures, I promise.)
On a positive note, he’s smiling at us now, which makes all of the stress and challenges completely worth it. No pictures of his toothless grin yet, because the smiles are spontaneous and he won’t cooperate when he’s in front of the camera. Soon, though!
Not my best angle, and I look exhausted, but isn’t he precious?
Speaking of cameras, we spent a small fortune on professional portraits over the weekend. It’s decidedly unfrugal, but I know he won’t be this small for very long, and I’m just never satisfied with the photos I take. I have so much to learn about lighting and staging and photography in general.We don’t have the images yet, but I will tell you this: they feature these abso-freakin-lutely adorable jeans that make him look like a GAP model.
Learning more about photography is one of my New Year’s resolutions. I’m hoping to take a digital photography class this year, and I’ve resolved to take at least one photo every day. I’m still editing and processing all of the photos I’ve taken so far, but they’ll be posted on my Flickr page as I get them edited if you want to follow along with me.
We live in southern Indiana now, which means a couple inches of snow are enough to close the schools — including the college where my husband teaches.
I’m originally from the Chicago area, where even a blizzard with a foot of snow didn’t close the schools as long as the roads were plowed. I missed the snow so much when we lived in North Carolina, and I welcome the unexpected days off for Tony. This week, we enjoyed two snow days, and Tony, Howie, and Judah all enjoyed an afternoon nap.
Now that the dust has settled from Judah’s birth, the holidays, and the whirlwind move across the state, I’m beginning to worry that the anxiety and depression I battled before pregnancy are creeping back. It’s not worse now that I have a baby, and I don’t know that I’d call it “postpartum” because it feels a lot like how it felt about two years ago. The only difference is the things I’m worried about have changed. For now it’s absolutely manageable, and I’m hoping to avoid medication this time, but I want to be honest with all of you when I say that I wouldn’t trade all of this for anything in the world, but that doesn’t make it easy.
So how have all of you been?
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{ 14 comments }
We coped by using the Moby wrap a lot. I’ve cooked dinner in it, used the bathroom in it, cleaned etc… Now I use the Beco because my daughter is too big for the Moby, but she still likes to be close to me (often she wants this the most when I have the most to do) so that’s how I vacuum and that’s how I packed for our last family trip etc…
I hope that helps!
Kid1 was like that and it’s starting to look like kid2 is becoming more so. She will sleep for awhile in a swing though. She’s on my chest right now, asleep. I hope I can move her soon and have her stay asleep. I wanted to go to bed at 9:30 tonight but that didn’t work. Arg. They do eventually knock it off though and I am telling myself that a lot.
Guess the ktan isn’t working out?
Yah, we use a sling sometimes, although I think it must take some getting used to before you can completely act like you’re not holding a child at all. We had good luck with Caylee in it once she could sit up and could go on my hip, but this newborn stage is harder.
I tend to just try to do like you’re doing, working in 10-15 minute windows.
Oh, and as for soft bedding, if you saw where Josiah slept every night you wouldn’t feel bad for putting him on his belly on the bed for a few minutes. lol. We’ve never had a newborn that would sleep on their hard beds/bassinets/pack and plays. They prefer our bed. Which is an ultra plush pillow top. yah.
Jes´s last [type] ..Not Enough
I have a love/hate relationship with winter here in NJ. I hate the winter coldness, but if it HAS to be cold, then I like the excitement of the snow, especially now that my kiddos are 3 and 4.5 and love to play in it.
Also your son is such a cutie! Love the shot of him laying on the bed sleeping… so adorable and completely at peace.
Oh and awesome job with getting all unpacked and settled so quickly! Even without a baby, that would have been fast, but you guys did it with a newborn. Best wishes with the new job, new baby and new home :)
Mary @ Tips & Treasures´s last [type] ..Jack Johnson MP3 Download Freebie
I second Erin on the wrap or sling for getting things done. The sweet little one is cradled close, so sleep comes easily and continues while a mother can get things done. I recommend letting as many things go for a few months as you possibly can. Enjoy the time in the chair or on the couch holding a sleeping baby while you relax and read. Before you know it you’ll be chasing, so any relaxing you can do now is well-deserved.
I wrap too. I started using a moby and moved on to a woven wrap or an ergo now that he’s bigger. My son is my 3rd child and the only one who ever fought sleep this much. He’s almost 6 months and doing better, but still needs to be held a lot. Good luck to you!
I fourth the moby! Wear that child! It will free up your arms and make life soooo much easier. I wish I had known that with my first two, didn’t figure it out until #3. Do a google search on baby wearing and there are instructions galore to make one without even sewing. (that’s what I did, worked just fine :-)) I’ve also seen research that wearing your baby helps with momma’s anxiety and depression issues. That wasn’t my case, but it’s certainly intriguing. Good luck, and if you have any questions, email me! I’d be happy to help.
We had the HARDEST time getting my son to sleep by himself! Here are my tips from our VERY long process!
1) Start a naptime routine. Somewhat similar to bedtime routine. Nurse, book, bed. We always read Goodnight Moon before nap or bedtime.
2) Try laying him down drowsy but somewhat awake. Stay until he’s asleep. As he grows and gets used to this routine, you’ll be able to just lay him down awake, and walk away. It’s awesome when you get to that point.
3) Music, fan, or some other sort of noise.
4) Try turning him on his side so he can look at you. After he’s asleep, you can roll him onto his back. If he has a pacifier, give that to him also. Also if he likes swaddling, that also will help. Make the same soothing sounds. We did Shhhhh, and just kept repeating that until he fell asleep.
These helped us A TON!! Good luck!
Alright for December babies! Adam is 5 weeks old and during our hospital stay and the first night we were home he WOULD NOT SLEEP unless someone was holding him. The second night home I decided to break out the noise machine and used the white noise setting and he slept beautifully. He also has to be swaddled. I know the LLL advises against swaddling so you’ll have to make your own decision about that, but that’s what works for our family. I use the miracle blanket at night which I like b/c he can’t break out of the swaddle and also it stays put so I don’t worry about the blanket covering his mouth and him not being able to move it out of the way during the night. He acted like he didn’t like it the first couple of times we tried it, but we left him in and he calmed down and slept.
I would also suggest wearing him, but we’ve only been able to make that work for us the past couple of days. I have a Moby wrap, and I can tell you that Adam can most certainly tell the difference between being held and being worn and prefers being held. Also, it took me a while to get the wrap right. I don’t know if it was more difficult b/c I also have a big baby (9lb 11oz born at 39 wks) but after watching many YouTube videos we finally got it right. Also, he seemed to hate it at first like the swaddle, but once I left him in he adjusted and seems to like it now.
Also, I only use the white noise at night like the miracle blanket b/c I’m trying to distinguish between day and night sleep, but once I got the night sleep fixed I’m able to set him down for naps during the day for longer periods in his bouncy, swing, etc. Of course, you should use it as much as you need it :). It just seemed for Adam once he figured out he could sleep without us he could do it with or without the noise. The noise, swaddling, swinging, sucking, etc is all about recreating the womb experience for them.
I hope some of these things might work for you! If you could get the babywearing down I think that would be especially beneficial.
I would recommend babywise, it is a book about putting baby on a schedule and having them self sooth to sleep. Basically, I made sure I kept baby up for at least 15 min. after she ate and then I would put her in her crib while still awake, you also keep them on a very strict schedule. I think at that age an every 3 hr schedule. It is a eat, play, sleep schedule. But, really amazing, she slept through the night earlier than most. Also, white noise at night. I also recommend the happiest baby on the planet, website, basically puts a baby to sleep very quickly. She is 7 months now and either sleeps through the night or wakes up once, unless she is sick…
I’d agree with some of the other comments – definitely have a routine – even if you have no schedule, it is still helpful to have a predictable series of events. I would also add that I was a swaddle maniac until my son was about 8 months. He slept through the night at 7 weeks (from about 11 pm to 6 am) and kept that up until I went back to work. At that point we had to tweak the routine a little.
I know everyone probably tells you this, but it goes faster than you can EVER imagine.
On the depression issue – get help if you need it.
Good luck – it is truly the worst of times and the best of times.
Hannelene´s last [type] ..Thoughts on Traveling
HE IS SO CUTE.
I am thinking about you, and if you need someone to talk to, be sure to let me know okay?
Congrats on getting settled in so quickly. That boy is a cutie! He would be hard to put down. :op Seriously, I know what you mean. My third child was like that. If you she was put down while she was deeply asleep, it would last for 10 min, max. If she wasn’t deeply asleep, as soon as she felt herself leave my arms, she was awake and crying. Babywearing was a god send. I did it with my 2nd because I thought it was a cool idea. I did it with her because I had to save my sanity. If she wasn’t on me in my Moby wrap, she was on her dad in a Baby Bjorn. I have tried several different slings, wraps, pouches….. I really like the fleece pouch from kangaroo korner especially for the early days, and the Moby wrap. The wrap, once you figure out the wrapping of it, is truly hands free. I never felt that way with a sling.
It will save your sanity. Trust me. I wouldn’t recommend Babywise, especially for a nursing infant. JMO.
Babywearing was the answer for me with both my kids.
Cathy´s last [type] ..P90X- Paleo Diet- and Rheumatoid Arthritis
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