Living Well on Less

Cotton Babies clearance sale

Karen — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:24:02 +0000

If you’re in the market for cloth diapers, check out the huge clearance sale at Cotton Babies. BumGenius, Flip, and Econobum diapers are marked down around 30% off. Use the coupon code BESTDEAL for an extra 5% off. Economy shipping is free.

These diapers are “seconds,” which means they’re on clearance because they have minor imperfections. I’ve never ordered Cotton Babies clearance diapers, but according to the website, they have minor imperfections such as slightly uneven edges and imperfectly sewn binding. I’ve been very happy with products I’ve ordered from Cotton Babies in the past, so I trust that these imperfections won’t affect the performance of the diapers (as the site promises).

However, keep in mind that Cotton Babies clearance diapers are non-returnable.

I ordered four Flip covers and a BumGenius all-in-one. After the 5% coupon code, my total came to about $54, or about $10.80 per diaper.

99 days to go (give or take a few)

Karen — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:17:50 +0000

My estimated due date is fewer than 100 days away. It’s unlikely that I’ll deliver on my due date — most women don’t. It’s also highly possible that I’ll deliver after my due date — most women do for their first baby. But this still feels like a milestone, and these days, I’ll take what I can get when it comes to encouragement.

It seems like such a short amount of time considering all that I have left to do. The “nursery” is still filled with boxes of office supplies that we don’t know what to do with. I’ve collected a few odds and ends here and there (cloth diapers and clothing mostly), but we don’t have any of the furniture or anything else. Ever since I found out I’m pregnant, I’ve been telling myself I have plenty of time. But that time is starting to run short.

In honor of this “milestone,” I thought I’d share what we have done and what’s left to do. Hopefully it’ll motivate us to get moving.

Done

We registered for birth classes beginning in October. We’ll be taking a Childbirth Preparation class at the hospital. I also signed up for infant/child CPR and a breastfeeding class.
I ordered the HypnoBabies home study course back in June, but I’ll finally start in mid-September when I’m close to 30 weeks. Kacie will be taking the course with me so we can be study buddies. HypnoBabies isn’t as kooky as it sounds. It’s a natural-birth course that teaches women to manage pain through guided meditation and relaxation techniques instead of pain meds. I did a lot of research before I chose this program, and women who’ve used it say the methods they learned really did help them stay relaxed and manage their pain without medication. We’ll see!
We completed a registry, and our families are planning to throw us two baby showers. Yay! We kept our registry pretty small, because I’m really trying to keep the amount of stuff we cram into our apartment to a minimum. Both showers will be held in the middle of October, so that’ll give us plenty of time to buy what we still need after the showers before the baby comes.
We’ve picked up a few items here and there. I’ve started my cloth diaper stash, and we have several items of clothing that we’ve picked up or our families have picked up for us. Tony’s grandmother loves to shop yard sales, and she says she’s bought a ton of clothing for us there.
We’re 95% settled on a name for our little boy, but we’re keeping it a secret until his birth day.

To Do

Right now, the nursery is a depository for office supplies and other stuff we don’t have a place for. We need turn it into an actual nursery.
We still need to get pretty much everything we’ll need for the baby.
Since no one in our families used cloth diapers, I’m not anticipating that any of them will feel comfortable enough to order diapers for us. So we’ll have to finish up our stash in the next couple months.
I’ve been reading and preparing for a natural birth, but I still have a couple books I’d like to finish.
Several years ago, I started working on a hand quilt that I still haven’t finished. I want to finish that and turn my wedding gown into a baby quilt this fall.
We need to make some decisions about the birth and create a birth plan for my midwives and the nurses attending my delivery.

It’s going to be a busy few months, especially October. Our baby showers and all three of our classes are taking place in October. But I’m so excited that we’re finally getting to the fun parts! Hopefully December will be here before we know it.

Photo by miiitch

I’m not knocking luxury

Karen — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 21:05:23 +0000

So. Hmm. That last post was a little misunderstood, I think.

Let me clarify. I’m not saying I don’t indulge in life’s luxuries. My husband and I didn’t choose to live frugally so we could sit in an empty room counting all of the money we’ve saved. We chose to life frugally, count every penny, and save when we can so we can afford some of life’s luxuries without putting ourselves into debt.

Case in point: Last May, after saving for three years, we finally took our vacation to Europe. We had a blast (despite the fact that I was 10-12 weeks pregnant and suffering the worst of my morning sickness). But I wouldn’t trade the trip for the world.

Did we need to go to Europe? Absolutely not. We wanted to take the trip, saved diligently, and paid cash. I’m so glad we worked so hard to save, and we’ll remember the trip for the rest of our lives. In my last post, I wasn’t saying that we should only ever spend money on necessities. I just think it’s important to recognize which luxuries we choose to spend money on, and draw a clear line between what’s necessary and what’s nice to have.

I’ve spent the last couple days editing photos (finally), I can finally share the pictures with you! I’m not looking my best, unfortunately, as I was quite ill. But there are lots of pretty buildings and scenery.

The photo below is us at the top of Notre Dame in Paris. Somewhere behind Tony’s head is the Eiffel Tower. Unfortunately, the tourist who snapped the picture for us didn’t tell him. Boo.

Click here for the slide show. Happy Wednesday!

Luxury vs. necessity: Are Americans confused?

Karen — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 20:48:10 +0000

Over the weekend, I found this interesting study from Pew Research on a blog I read. Survey respondents were asked to rate how necessary different household devices are to their lives and whether or not they consider them to be luxuries.

Respondents answered the question “Do you pretty much think of this as a necessity or pretty much think of it as a luxury you could do without” for the items on the right. I find the results shocking.

I wasn’t surprised to see that 86 percent of people consider their car to be a necessity. Depending on where you live, it can be pretty difficult to get around without a car. It’s sad to me that more communities haven’t embraced public transportation, but since I now live in one of them, I have to admit that our (one) car is pretty much a necessity for us. Without it, my husband wouldn’t be able to get to and from his job, which pays the rent and buys us groceries.

I was surprised, however, to see that more than half of respondents rated their home air conditioning and clothes dryer as a necessity. Really? Don’t get me wrong, I love air conditioning as much as the next person (especially now that I’m pregnant), but I also recognize that it’s one of the most decadent luxuries we enjoy in this country.

I’d say the same for my clothes dryer. Is line drying convenient? Not always. But it is something that everyone can do. And if you’re not willing to line dry, chances are you live near a laundromat.

I’m equally shocked that 47 percent of people think their cell phone is a necessity, 45 percent of people don’t think they couldn’t live without a microwave, 42 percent think their television is a necessity, and 21 percent even consider their dishwasher a necessity. And don’t even get me started on the 23 percent who think cable TV is a necessity or the 10 percent of people who can’t live without a flat screen TV. That is insanity.

These numbers show just how confused a lot of people in this country are when it comes to what they really need. I’d consider pretty much everything on this list a luxury. Do these things make life easier for us? Yes. By definition, that’s what luxuries do. They make life easier and more comfortable. But we don’t need them to survive.

It’s scary to think that so many people are confused about the difference between what’s necessary and what’s convenient. For necessities, we have no choice but to find a way to afford them. Things like food, clean drinking water, shelter, and medical care. But when you believe that things like air conditioning and clothes dryers and cable television are necessities, it’s harder to give up these luxuries when money is tight.

What do you think? Do you find this poll as shocking as I do?

Chart courtesy of Pew Research

Necessity is the mother of frugality

More insurance company fun! /sarcasm

Karen — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 12:00:57 +0000

Oh, health insurance. Why must you make everything so complicated?

By the time I got pregnant, I thought I was pretty prepared for everything. As it turns out, I was not only unprepared for the emotional and physical stress of pregnancy, but there are many logistical issues that I never considered.

Last year, I found out that when a pregnancy spans two separate calendar years (pretty common considering the majority of pregnancies last 9 whole months), you’re responsible for paying your deductible twice. It makes sense in theory, but ugh. What a pain!

I’m lucky in this regard. My due date is December 9. My new midwife (who is fantastic, by the way, but that’s another post) says it’s highly unlikely that my pregnancy will continue beyond 42 weeks. I’m committed to a natural birth, but I’m willing to discuss induction at 42 weeks. That means I will likely go into labor by December 23 at the latest. Since I’ll deliver in 2010, I’ll pay a single deductible. Whew.

It wasn’t until a few days ago that I considered the possibility of a third deductible.

According to several resources, it’s common for hospitals to issue a separate bill for the baby’s hospital care after birth. Once the baby is born, he becomes an individual, and he’ll receive separate care in the hospital. Even in a normal birth that doesn’t require a stay in the NICU (fingers crossed that we’ll avoid that nightmare), the baby will incur his own medical bills.

I also found out that depending on the insurance provider and the policy, it’s possible that the baby will require his own insurance deductible. Blerg. Again, this makes sense in theory, and I can’t believe I never thought about it. But to be fair, you never really think about insurance deductibles for newborns until you’re pregnant.

Some insurance companies include newborns under their mother’s deductible for the first 30 days. Many include the hospital stay after delivery under the mother’s deductible, but well baby care after discharge is separate. It really just depends on the insurance provider and the policy.

My individual deductible is $2,500. I’ve already met my deductible for this year with prenatal care, so I was looking forward to owing $0 after my delivery. A separate deductible for our new baby would change that. Even routine well baby care for a two-day hospital stay can add up pretty quickly. He’d likely reach his own deductible after just a couple days in the hospital, and $2,500 isn’t chump change.

As much as I hate (hate hate hate) calling my insurance company, I needed to know how they would handle my new baby’s deductible. If we were going to owe $2,500 to the hospital after the birth, I’d rather prepare for it than be hit with a surprise bill.

Of course, it’s not possible to call my insurance company and speak to a person without sitting through an impossible automated system that asks 45 questions. Half the time, the automated system doesn’t understand my responses, and I have to repeat myself four or five times. As I’m transferred from department to department, I have to answer the same questions two or three times. There is nothing I hate more than talking — out loud — to a robot. It is a complete nightmare. But I’m lucky to have health insurance at all, even COBRA, so I deal with it.

The conclusion? The baby’s hospital care will be included under my deductible. Once we’re discharged from the hospital, he will become an individual policy holder with his own deductible.

If you’re pregnant (or considering getting pregnant), I suggest you check with your insurance company to find out their policy for handling deductibles for newborns. It’s better to be prepared than surprised!

Photo by joannao

Planning ahead for our baby’s education

Karen — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:08:40 +0000

Tony and I have always agreed that a college education is something we want for our children — and it’s something that we want to help them obtain. I know this is a controversial subject, so let me begin by saying I’m not up for debating it. It’s a priority for us, and that’s that.

Traditionally, middle-class students get the shaft when it comes to college funding. I was a very good student, and I worked very hard to qualify for scholarships, but it’s a competitive market. The average above-average student qualifies for very little money when it comes to scholarships. I worked two jobs through college, and I still ended up deep in debt by the time I graduated. It’s definitely true that I could have made better choices when it came to borrowing money, but the fact remains that I needed some help funding my education. Tony and I want to be able to provide that help for our children.

Much like retirement saving, time is your best friend when it comes to saving for college. I’ve run some numbers using a few college savings calculators, and frankly, I disagree with their numbers. Our plan is to save enough to pay tuition only at a public university. We will expect our child(ren) to work as much as possible to cover certain living expenses. We also anticipate sending some money to cover part of his living expenses on a month-to-month basis.

As of right now, our budget is too tight to set any hard and fast numbers for monthly savings. But we know that if we start contributing even just a little money each year to a 529 savings plan, it will be much easier to save enough over the next 18 years than if we wait until he’s a teenager.

Our philosophy for retirement savings has been similar. We each have a Roth IRA, and we contribute as much as we can each year. Right now, it’s not a lot. But the plan is in place, and as our income increases, so will our savings.

Our plan is to open a 529 savings plan shortly after our baby is born. Our retirement savings will remain our priority, but we want to have the savings account in place to encourage us to put money away when we can. We’ll also let grandparents and other loved ones know that the savings account exists. We don’t expect anyone else to contribute to it, but we want them to know that especially in the baby’s first few years of life, if they want to give him gifts, we’d prefer they contribute to his college savings rather than spoiling him with tons of toys.

By starting early, we’ll have years of interest on our side. We’ll also have more time, which means lower monthly contributions will add up over the years. Even just $50 a month at 8% interest will net us close to $25,000 by the time our son starts college. That wouldn’t be enough to cover his tuition for 4 years, but that’s $25,000 less that he’d have to borrow, which makes a huge difference. We’re obviously hoping our income and budget will change through the years, though, and we’ll eventually be able to save more every month.

Beginning early will give us a head start. It will also give well-meaning family members who want to help with his education a place to put a few bucks every year if they want.

Are you saving for your child’s education? What’s your plan?

Photo by hmocopymonkey

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In which it metaphorically hits the fan

Karen — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 18:49:37 +0000

Remember a couple weeks ago when I wrote about my bad vet experience? I decided the best way to handle it was to share my experiences on an online reviews forum, find a new vet, and move on. And that’s what I did.

Except that appears to be only the beginning.

This morning, Tony let me sleep in a little. He woke me up a little before 10 a.m. The first thing he said to me: “Guess who just called? That vet. She’s angry about your review, and she called it ‘borderline defamation.’”

No, I am not kidding you. She found my review on Yelp, which was posted under the name “Karen.” She put two and two together, found Tony’s number in the patient information we filed with the office, and called to confront us. Except she didn’t want to confront me, the actual writer of the review. Instead, she wanted to argue with Tony about what his wife wrote.

Of course, Tony apologized and promised he’d control his wife better in the future. Oh wait. No. That’s what would have happened if this was 1953.

ANYWAY. Tony called her back once I was up. Because she refused to speak to me at first, and Tony hadn’t even read the review, she read the entire thing to him on the phone. All eight paragraphs. She claimed that my opinion was false, and threatened to consult a lawyer if we didn’t remove or edit the review to “reflect the truth.”

Of course, Tony reminded her that, by definition, opinions cannot be false. He stood by me and the review, and argued our point articulately. And believe me, I know better than anyone, this man can argue.

But he’s also civil and calm (one of the reasons he’s such a good arguer). I was dying to tell her exactly what I thought about her threats. Tony finally said, “Look, my wife is sitting right here. She wrote the review. You should really talk to her about it.”

First of all, she said to me, “I started my practice THE YEAR YOU WERE BORN.” (I’m assuming she got that information from my Yelp profile?) Seriously? Her argument was that I don’t have a right to an opinion on how they handled my dog, because I am not an expert like she is. And, based on the comment about my age, I also don’t have a right to an opinion because I’m 25.

I’m not a vet. But I am a dog owner, and I have been since I was a small child. I didn’t write the review from the perspective of a veterinarian. I wrote the review from the perspective of a dog owner who was frustrated with what I felt was not an adequate level of care provided for my pet. I wrote the review from the perspective of a consumer, because that’s how review sites work.

Here is where I should probably remind you that I’m 5 and a half months pregnant. And it’s August. I’m hot, I’m crabby, and the last thing I need is someone telling me I’m too young to have an opinion. But I calmly told her I won’t be threatened or pushed around, and I feel it’s incredibly unethical for her to threaten to sue us just because we were unhappy with her service.

What this vet didn’t know when she called us is that we both have a background in journalism. We are passionate about the First Amendment and educated on libel laws. My husband listens to Supreme Court arguments on his iPod. For fun. We won’t be bullied into removing or editing the review in a way that compromises our First Amendment rights.

Of course, I hope this is the end of it. I hope she doesn’t try to take us to court. We certainly don’t have the money to pay a lawyer right now. But I’m not taking down my review, and I’m prepared for the challenge if it comes to that. I believe strongly that consumers should have an outlet for their opinions about businesses, and they should be able to share their experiences with other consumers without the fear of being sued by an angry business owner.

Have any of you ever been bullied by a business for an online review? Do any of my kind, supportive readers have a law degree and want to give me an opinion on what to do next? Because all I know for sure is that it feels wrong to give in to this kind of bullying.

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Advice needed: Choosing an infant car seat for our tiny car

Karen — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 12:00:54 +0000

Thanks to the reviews in Baby Bargains (affiliate link), extensive research, and a visit to some baby stores to test them out, we’ve narrowed down our choices for infant car seats to two options.

We opted to choose an infant car seat instead of a rear-facing convertible that will last longer because we’d like to have the option to use the seat as an infant carrier. With the history of giant babies in our families, I doubt we’ll want to lug him around in an awkward 10-pound car seat for very long. But I think in the very beginning it will be handy to be able to lift him out of the car and carry him without uncovering him, especially since he’ll be born at the beginning of a very cold Midwestern winter.

A few weeks ago, we were pretty sure we were set on the Graco SnugRide 35 (affiliate link). It has an A-rating for safety and usability in Baby Bargains, and it’s a top seller. I like that it’s safe to use until the baby is 35 pounds or 32 inches, which means we should be able to get through most of his first year without replacing his car seat. We probably won’t be using it as a carrier for that long, but the longer I can use this seat, the better. I also like that it’s compatible with a wide range of stroller frames and other baby gear. We’re opting to skip the travel system and use a sling exclusively for at least the first few months, but I like having the option to get the stroller later if for some reason baby wearing just isn’t working for us.

We made this decision without ever seeing the car seats in person, though. So Saturday, we took a short trip to the nearest baby store (about 45 minutes away), and checked out our options.

We liked the SnugRide 35. But. For comparison, we also looked at another high-rated infant seat/carrier: the Chicco Keyfit 30 (affiliate link). The Keyfit has a weight limit of 30 pounds and a height guideline of 30 inches. It won’t last quite as long as the SnugRide, but I think the difference is negligible.

The biggest difference between the two is size of the actual seat. The Keyfit felt much lighter. I found out when we got home that the difference is only about a pound, but it felt much lighter than that. I’m guessing when you add a 10-15 pound baby to the seat, every pound counts.

More importantly, it was about 2-3 inches more compact than the SnugRide 35. It’s also safe to leave the handle up when the Keyfit is installed in the in-car base. The SnugRide 35 handle must be down in the locked position, which adds even more length to the seat.

We weren’t able to take the seats out to our car to test the fit. This is our main concern: we share a single vehicle, and it’s a Hyundai Accent. It’s a four-door, but it’s still a pretty small, sub-compact car. We’re concerned that the extra bulk and the handle on the SnugRide 35 might make for a tight squeeze in our backseat.

Tony much preferred the Keyfit. He said it felt lighter and easier to carry, and since he’ll likely be saddled with lugging the infant carrier more often than me, I’m inclined to let him choose. But I’m bothered by the compatibility issues with the Keyfit. We’d rather avoid getting a stroller frame for the infant carrier, but if the need arises, I like that the SnugRide offers so many options. Our options for the Keyfit are pretty limited.

Do any of you have any experience using the SnugRide 35 or the Chicco Keyfit 30 in a sub-compact car (particularly a Hyundai Accent)? Or do you have any feedback on either seat in general? I’m hoping your feedback will push us over the edge for either seat, because right now we’re torn.

Happy place

Karen — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:41:57 +0000

Thank you so much for your encouragement yesterday. Sometimes I just need a reminder of how worthwhile all of the obstacles will be.

I’ll be spending the rest of the weekend dreaming of cool, clean autumn air, and reminding myself that this year I’ll finally get to experience the Indiana fall I’ve missed so much for the past three years. (Bonus: I’ll be much closer to my due date.)

I think it’s safe to blame the hormones

Karen — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:51:56 +0000

Vivid dreams are a side effect of pregnancy for which I wasn’t prepared. Most of the time, they’re wacky (like the other night when I dreamed that Michael Phelps towed my sinking cruise ship to shore, rescuing everyone on board). But last night, it was bittersweet.

In the dream, it was fall. Crisp, cool air replaced the stagnant, wet heat outside right now. Tony and I were going on a trip somewhere exciting. It was sunny and beautiful, and I felt well. I felt light and cheery and good in a way that my body hasn’t felt for, oh, about 5 months now.

When I woke up, it was a bitter reminder of the stark contrast between how my body feels now, and how I used to feel when my biggest complaint in the morning was that I didn’t feel like going to the gym. What I wouldn’t give to put in 3 miles on a treadmill now, but I feel too heavy, too sick, too exhausted all. the. time.

It’s not that nobody warned me. I witnessed my sisters as they endured 9+ months of discomfort during pregnancy. I knew I’d likely face the same fate. But I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand what will happen to you during pregnancy until you’ve experienced it yourself. I know I wasn’t prepared.

And yes, I know, I know, it’s all worth it. Unfortunately, when you’re pregnant for the first time, there’s no real frame of reference. Like pregnancy, parenthood is something that’s impossible to understand or grasp until you experience it. So for now, I’m feeling a whole lot of discomfort with only a vague understanding of what awaits at the finish line.

I am completely aware of how lucky I am. That’s why I’ve tried really hard to keep my complaining to myself. We decided we’d like to have a baby, and a month later I was pregnant. That alone is a feat considering how many people struggle for months and even years with infertility. So far, the baby is healthy and thriving despite my discomfort. I quit my full-time job pretty early in the pregnancy to begin a freelance career, so I won’t have to worry about returning to an office after the baby is born. And Tony is about as patient and forgiving as a husband can be, even when I don’t deserve it (especially when I don’t deserve it). He cooks and cleans and takes care of me on the days when I’m too sick to get up (and yes, I’m still having those days, even at 22 weeks).

I’m fully aware that I’m lucky, which is why I choose not to write most days instead of writing what I’m feeling. But the truth is, I struggle to feel grateful. I know I have much to be thankful for, but I’m human, and it’s hard to feel grateful after 5 months of what feels like stomach flu. It’s hard to feel grateful as I swell to twice my previous size. It’s hard to feel grateful as I struggle to sleep at night and concentrate during the day. I know it’s not supposed to be easy, but somehow the inability to feel grateful is the hardest part.

And then I feel guilty about it. I remind myself of how lucky I am, and I feel guilty because it’s so hard for me to appreciate it right now. It’s a vicious cycle, and I suspect that it will continue at least until the baby is born (and likely beyond).

Despite the guilt, I have to admit — I hate being pregnant. I know how sad this will seem to the many women who enjoy the whole process, but I am not one of them. It has been a roller coaster ride with fewer ups than downs, and although I’m barely halfway through it, I’m already counting down the days until it’s over.

I am miserable most of the time. I don’t feel like myself. I snap at my husband over the stupidest things. I shout at my dog for annoying me when all he’s trying to do is comfort me the only way he knows how. Lifting myself from bed in the morning feels like running a marathon; I feel so heavy, and my muscles and joints are so stiff. I’m constantly overheated. I’m depressed. And then there’s the continued nausea and constant pain, of course.

I can’t help but feel like I’m having some sort of allergic reaction to my unborn child. Thankfully, he seems to be doing fine, despite the fact that my body is rejecting his presence so violently.

So. Why don’t you tell me your favorite thing about having kids? Because I sure could use a reminder of why this will all be worth it in the end.