Category Archives: Frugality

Are you “financially fragile”? How to fix it.

According to a new study, nearly half of all Americans definitely or probably couldn’t come up with $2,000 in 30 days if they faced a financial emergency. Financial experts recommend keeping an emergency fund with enough cash to cover at least three to six months of expenses. Based on this research, it seems almost half of Americans would struggle to cover even one month in the event of a job loss or other emergency.

Considering the state of the economy over the past several years, this doesn’t surprise me. I have lived paycheck to paycheck in the past, and I know what it’s like when the money seems to leave your savings account more quickly than you can save it.

I truly believe that with some advance planning, though, most of these families wouldn’t be nearly as financially fragile. We were earning less than half of our current income when we finally began saving money. We went from barely squeaking by to saving a small amount of money every month without increasing our income.

By saving or earning an extra $160 a month, you could build a bare bones emergency fund of $2,000 (plus a little extra with interest) in one year. But how? Through a combination of spending less and/or earning more. Here are some ideas.

Spend less

Line-dry your clothing. The clothes dryer is one of the most expensive appliances in your home. By line-drying some or all of your clothing, you could noticeably reduce your electric bill.

Weatherproof your home. Seal drafty doors and windows with weather strips, update window treatments to insulating curtains or blinds, and take other steps to better insulate your home to cut your heating or cooling costs.

Add one or two vegetarian meals to your weekly menu plan. Reducing your meat consumption can make a huge difference in your grocery bill.

Lower monthly payments. If you have a lot of minutes left on your cell phone plan every month, you might be able to save some money by reducing your plan. Call insurance and utility companies to see if you qualify for any discounts.

Use Netflix, Hulu, and Redbox instead of cable for entertainment. Hulu costs anywhere from $0 to $8 per month. Netflix can cost as little as $9 a month. Cable costs $40 and up. You might be surprised how little you miss cable.

Downsize. Move to a smaller, less expensive house or apartment. Trade your fancy car for a reliable used vehicle with a lower (or no) payment. Become a one-car household.

Use cash for weekly expenses. This was the easiest thing I’ve ever done to cut spending fast. Set your weekly budget for daily expenses like gas, groceries, etc. At the beginning of the week, withdraw the amount of cash you’ll need. You’ll be amazed at how little you spend when you’re not unconsciously swiping your debit card several times a day.

Earn more.

Sell your stuff. Do you have shelves and shelves of DVDs and books and you don’t watch or read anymore? What about clothing you haven’t worn in years? Jewelry you don’t wear? Have a rummage sale or start liquidating your unnecessary assets at consignment shops, resale stores, or online.

Think like a teen. Clean houses, mow lawns, babysit. Start thinking of the ways you used to earn money as a teen. They may still be viable sources of income even as an adult.

Sell crafts on Etsy.

Find a part-time job for evenings and weekends.

I realize it’s easier said than done, but even if you can’t get to $160 or more per month, cutting expenses and earning more can help you start saving something, and that’s the first step to building your emergency fund.

What suggestions do you have for people who want to start saving to protect themselves from financial emergencies?

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Is college worth it?

Lately, there have been tons of headlines touting the idea that rising unemployment, high tuition costs, and overcrowding in the post-college job market have made college degrees a poor value. Proponents of this theory believe that other career tracks — such as internships and entry-level positions that don’t require a degree — may be a smarter idea to get students into the work force faster without spending thousands of dollars.

I think this Time article does a pretty good job of dispelling this theory:

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2010, the median weekly earnings for someone with some college but no degree were $712, compared to $1038 for a college graduate. That’s almost $17,000 over the course of a year and there is an even bigger divide for those with less education. College graduates are also more likely to be in jobs with better benefits, further widening the divide. Meanwhile, in 2010, the unemployment rate was 9.2 percent for those with only some college and more than 10 percent for those with just a high school degree, but it was 5.4 percent for college graduates. The economic gaps between college completers and those with less education are getting larger, too.

These statistics paint a pretty obvious picture. It appears that college graduates are not only less likely to face unemployment, but their salaries are thousands of dollars higher than non-college grads.

That doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge that there’s a problem, though. As someone who personally made the foolish choice to unnecessarily borrow thousands for a college degree, I think college debt is a serious problem in this country.

That doesn’t mean I regret my decision to go to college. My college education opened doors for me. Not only did I learn valuable skills during my time at college, but I was able to find a job afterward that taught me even more valuable skills — and allowed me to support my husband and me while he earned a master’s degree, which is what allows him to pay our bills now. Do I regret the debt, though? You betcha.

You could argue that a college degree isn’t required for my freelance income. However, it’s unlikely I’d have the skills necessary to earn my freelance income without my degree and previous work experience. Not to mention, I don’t plan to be a stay-at-home mom indefinitely. When my youngest child starts school, I’ll be back in the job market. Depending on how many children we have, it could be a while, but I’m glad I won’t be starting college at that point like my mom did.

I think the question of whether college is “worth it” is silly. The more important question is whether college debt is “worth it.” And to me, the answer is no. The debt isn’t worth living beyond your means as a college student.

Skipping college isn’t the answer. The answer is skipping college debt (or at least as much of it as you can). Attend a state school or community college for all or part of your education. Apply for grants and scholarships. Work as much as you possibly can. Live frugally. Do not use student loans to subsidize your beer and pizza fund or buy expensive gadgets or a car you can’t afford. Work full time and attend school part time for longer than four years.

I’m not naive enough to claim that graduating with no debt is an option for everyone. I acknowledge that middle class students without a college nest egg often have limited options. As someone who attended a state school, worked two jobs in college, received financial help from parents, and still didn’t have enough to pay for tuition and living expenses, I understand that avoiding all debt may not be possible if you want to graduate in under a decade. But the point is to borrow as little as you possibly can — and the ideal is to borrow none.

If you’re a graduating senior, please trust me when I tell you — your first job will not pay you enough to make those student loans payments easy. But don’t feel discouraged enough to skip college all together. An education is absolutely worth the hard work required to pay for it — the debt, however, is not.

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The real cost of buying a home

If you’re planning to buy a house in the near future, then I’m sure you’ve heard this from a million people already, but I’ll tell you again: it ain’t cheap.

So what does it really cost? Well, you’re probably already saving 5-20% of your purchase price for a down payment and 1-3% for your closing costs. That’s not a small chunk of change. Unfortunately, that’s not all you’re going to need to save. Here are a few of the costs we encountered on our little home buying adventure.

Emergency fund

Up until now, you’ve probably had a landlord. If your heater stops working, you call the landlord, and they send someone to fix it on their dime. Roof leak? Call the landlord. Broken refrigerator? Call the landlord. Now that you’re a homeowner, the landlord is you. Don’t plan on spending every last cent of your savings account to move into your home. As a homeowner, access to an adequate emergency fund is more important than ever. Negotiating a home warranty into your purchase can relieve some of this responsibility for a year or so, but it won’t cover everything. Make sure you have some cash on hand to avoid getting in over your head.

Appliances – $500 and up. The sky is the limit if you want to get fancy Food Network appliances!

These days, the housing market is full of foreclosure properties. Sure, you can get a great house for a low price, but often these homes don’t include appliances like a stove, refrigerator, dishwasher, washer or dryer. Sometimes if you’re buying from a seller instead of a bank, some or all of the kitchen appliances will be included. Sometimes they’re not. We saw several houses that didn’t include some or all of the appliances. In our case, we were lucky to buy a house with a stove and dishwasher. We already own our washer and dryer (bartered from a friend in North Carolina in exchange for moving help). But our home did not include a refrigerator, so we had to purchase one.

Sometimes a good deal can be found at secondhand or consignment shops. However, you are taking a risk that the appliance bought will be missing one or more vital parts. Luckily, no matter what brand — Kenmore, Electrolux, General Electric, Jenn-Air, KitchenAid, and others — it’s usually possible to find replacement parts inexpensively. You may even be able to get an old refrigerator running like new for only a few dollars.

Lawnmower – $200 – $5000

If you’re moving into your first home after living in apartments, you’ve never experienced the joy of yard maintenance. Now instead of cursing the landscapers for kicking up pollen and noisily mowing away outside a few times a month, that will be your job. We have almost an acre of land that’s quickly growing out of control, so we’ll have to buy a mower before we move in.

Window coverings – $200 and up

Some homeowners will leave things like blinds, curtains, or other window coverings that were custom-made for the home. Often they don’t. Because our house was recently remodeled and new windows were installed, there’s nothing covering them. Unless we want to give our neighbors a peep show, we’ve got to invest in some blinds. As much as I love our dramatic, custom windows, I learned the hard way that fancy windows are more expensive to cover. We had to order custom-cut blinds to fit our unique window sizes. If your windows are standard size, mini blinds can be a cheap option to cover your windows until you can save up for something fancier.

Propane – $500 – $1000 depending on the tank size

I’m a city girl, and I assumed that everyone in the world has access to a natural gas line in their homes, and they just receive a heating bill every month. Not so. If you’re moving into a house in the country, you may have a giant propane tank next to your house that needs to be filled. Rates are lower in the summer when demand is lower, and in our case, the first fill has to be paid upfront. After that we can get on a monthly “budget” plan to build a credit and cover the next fill-up.

Optional costs – Prices will vary.

Paint

If you hate the colors the previous owner chose or the paint needs a touch-up, be prepared to invest some money and elbow grease into repainting. Our house was completely repainted as part of the remodel. They’re not the colors I would have chosen, but it’s fresh paint and I don’t hate the colors, so we chose to leave the walls as they are for at least a year or two.

Decorations

If you don’t repaint — or you choose a color much different from your previous home — you may discover that the decorations you bring no longer match your decor. You can always choose to add decorations a little at a time to reduce the upfront cost. If you don’t have the money to decorate right away, be prepared to live with bare walls for a little while.

Furnishings

The square footage of our new home is almost double that of our apartment. When you suddenly gain that much extra space, you realize just how much furniture it will take to fill it. We’ll have to live with an empty den for a while until we can find a nice used sofa or save enough to upgrade our living room furniture and move the old stuff into the den.

Thankfully, we’ve been saving for the past 5 years, so even though we underestimated the amount of cash we’d need to buy our house, we can afford the extra costs. Be sure you count on some extra costs if you’re planning to buy a home.

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Why I’d rather spend less than earn more

This post was originally published on May 13, 2009. Now that I’m a stay-at-home mom, this post is truer than ever for me. I needed a reminder of why my priority will always be finding ways to cut our spending instead of increasing our income. I thought I’d share it with you, too.

When you’re working to save money or get out of debt, there are two main ways to do it: spend less and earn more. When you’re struggling to make ends meet, the solution is to cut your spending or find a way to increase your income or some balance of both.

I’ve always favored the spend less approach on my blog and in my life. I’m not a big fan of Dave Ramsey’s advice to go to extreme measures to increase your income. I’d rather work hard to cut spending than pick up a second job or extra hours to increase our income. Here’s why:

My time is worth more than money.

If we took on night jobs or weekend jobs, we could speed up our debt repayment and savings. But at what cost? We’d lose our only real quality time together, our only time to relax and recharge. As I said yesterday, frugality is about improving my quality of life. Working nonstop isn’t what I think about when I think about my best life.

Being short on time can cost money.

When you’re constantly rushing around, you’re more likely to cling to convenience. From picking up take out at the end of a night shift to paying more in childcare to cover your long hours to skipping money-saving habits like menu planning and coupon clipping because you don’t have time, rushing around can get expensive.

Higher income leads to more spending.

Obviously, the point of frugality is to avoid increasing expenses as income increases. But the harder you’re working to bring in that extra income, the harder it can be to tell yourself, “No.”

Even if you can avoid spending money on unnecessary things, there are some natural upgrades that come along with a better income: home ownership, vacations, little luxuries. If you put more of your focus on earning than saving, it’s likely that those little upgrades will add up to a lot of extra spending. By focusing on saving instead of earning, we’re living comfortably without being tempted to splurge to much. As our income naturally increases and we continue to spend less than we make, we’ll find a way to fit these upgrades into our budget.

What about you? Would you rather spend less or earn more?

Final steps for first-time homebuyers

After looking and looking at all the homes on the market, you finally found one that really feels like it could be home. Don’t relax yet, though. The home buying process has just begun! Hopefully you’ll only have to go through this process once, and your dream house will be yours.

I know this is easier said than done, but it’s important not to get too attached to the house until the deal is done. Not only could something interfere on the seller’s side, but you may discover something about the house that makes it less desirable. If that’s the case, you need to be able to walk away, no matter how great the house may seem.

Here are the final steps to closing the deal:

Make an offer.

Once you’ve chosen a house, it’s time to make an offer. Most of the time, you can offer less than the seller’s asking price, but that will depend on the asking price, your market, and how long the house has been available. Generally, if you’re living in a down market (most markets are down right now) and the house has been on the market for longer than a month or two, you can safely assume that you’ll be able to offer less than the asking price. Your buyer’s agent should be familiar enough with the market in your area to give you some insight and guidance on how much to offer. Now is also the time to ask if you want the seller to cover closing costs. Be sure to write in stipulations that allow you to walk away if the inspection uncovers major issues.

From here there are a few things that can happen. Once you make an offer, the seller can either accept your offer or come back with a counter offer. The counter offer may ask for a higher selling price or change the stipulations of your agreement. If you don’t want to pay more than you offered, you can refuse the counter offer.

The other thing that can happen is another buyer could put an offer in. If their offer is higher than yours, then the seller will obviously refuse yours. If you happen to know a house is receiving multiple offers, it’s best to make your offer very competitive or even offer the asking price depending on how much you want the house. Again, your buyer’s agent will be able to give you some insight to make the best possible offer.

Accept the offer.

If your seller accepts your offer as is, or you accept the counter offer, then you’re officially under contract to purchase the house. Once the offer is accepted, another buyer cannot outbid you. Your offer should have included provisions that allow you to break the agreement without penalty if the inspection uncovers problems. Once the offer is accept, you’ll need to put down earnest money. The exact amount will be specified in the offer, and it can range from $500 to $1500. This money goes toward closing costs or your down payment at closing.

Schedule an inspection.

Your buyer’s agent will likely recommend an inspector. It can create a conflict of interest for the agent to recommend an inspector, because the agent doesn’t want the deal to fall through, so he or she may recommend an inspector who isn’t as thorough. Personally, I think in most cases, a buyer’s agent wants to protect your interests. His or her reputation depends on honesty with clients, so in most cases, I think they want you to know if the house is a bad deal. If you want to be safe, though, search for another inspector to make sure you’re getting an honest report on the house.

A good inspection generally costs $300-$400, and you’ll have to pay for it upfront. Do not skimp or skip the inspection! Spending $400 to have an expert thoroughly inspect your home could save you thousands.

Request repairs.

If the house is newer construction, it’s likely that you’ll get a clean inspection report. If that’s the case, then great! You can continue the process without worry. However, if the report uncovers any issues, now is the time to walk away or negotiate. If the issues are minor and can be fixed, you can request the seller to repair them before closing. If they’re extensive (major termite damage, structural issues, etc.), it might be time to walk away. A good inspector can tell you whether the issues are major enough to warrant walking away.

Keep in mind, once an inspection uncovers an issue with the house (such as termites or mold or any number of problems), the seller will have to disclose that issue to potential buyers in the future. That means you have an advantage in negotiations. In most cases, the seller would rather fix the problems and sell to you than put the house back on the market and disclose any problems to other buyers who likely won’t be interested. Most problems can be repaired, so consider asking the seller to repair them before closing or negotiate a lower purchase price to offset the money you’ll have to spend on repairs.

Notify your lender that you’ve found a house.

Once you’re satisfied with the condition of the house, it’s time to notify the lender who preapproved your mortgage. Let your lender know that you’ve found a house, you’re under contract, and you’re ready to move forward.

Schedule an appraisal.

At this point, your lender will want to schedule an appraisal to ensure that the house is worth the purchase price. Depending on your mortgage company, the amount for the appraisal ($300-$400) will either need to be paid upfront or it can be rolled into closing costs and paid at closing. Your lender will be able to let you know.

Choose a provider for your homeowners insurance.

Even though it’s part of your monthly mortgage payment, finding a good deal on homeowners insurance is up to you. Prices for comparable coverage can vary greatly from company to company, so don’t accept the first quote you find. Get several quotes from providers in your area to find the best deal. You can often get a discount for carrying auto insurance through the same provider as your homeowners insurance, so ask what the rate for both would be if you agreed to switch.

Close!

Once the appraisal is finished, it will likely take a few weeks to close even under ideal circumstances. Now it’s time to start packing! Your lender will finish processing the loan, and once a closing date is determined, they’ll let you know. If the seller isn’t covering your closing costs, be prepared to pay an additional $2000-$5000 on top of your down payment at closing.

Do you have any tips for first-time homebuyers?

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Next steps for first time homebuyers

Now that you’ve saved up for your down payment and closing costs, cleaned up your credit report, and you’re prequalified (or preapproved) for a mortgage, it’s time to find your home and close the deal. This is the fun part! But it can also be overwhelming. It doesn’t have to be hard, though. Here are some steps to keep it simple.

Narrow down your “must-haves.”

Depending on the size of your market, you may want to start looking at all the houses in your price range. But if you’re living in a large market or open to several different locations, narrowing down your options is essential. How many bedrooms do you need? Is a big kitchen important to you? What kind of neighborhood do you want? You might not be able to find a house with everything you want, but if you prioritize, you should be able to find a house with your “must-haves.”

Search the MLS.

MLS listings are available on many real estate websites. You should be able to search for your criteria in all the homes currently on the market in your area. You or your buyer’s agent can create alert emails that will notify you when houses in your price range with your criteria become available or lower in price.

Weed out the homes that won’t work for you.

Once you have a list of all the homes in your market that loosely fit your needs (3 bedroom, 2 bathroom homes in your price range, for example), start looking at them more closely. View the address on a map. Is it in a desirable area? Is there a highway in the back yard? (That was the case for a surprising number of the homes in my search.) It’s not a bad idea to drive through some neighborhoods if there are multiple homes on the market in a specific area. I found that many of the homes looked really nice in pictures, but not so great in person. Take those homes off your list before you start scheduling viewings to keep things as simple as possible.

Schedule viewings.

Now is the time when a buyer’s agent comes in handy. Your agent will typically need to give 24 hours’ notice to the seller before a viewing. Make a list of 5-10 houses that fit your requirements.

If you’ve found a large number of houses that you’re interested in viewing, start with the homes on the lower end of the price range. If a less expensive home will work for your family, there’s no need to look at fancier houses. You may discover that these homes won’t actually work for you, and if that happens, you can always schedule viewings for more expensive homes later. Try to keep the number of homes you view in a single day under 10 to avoid overwhelming yourself.

Take notes and pictures.

When you start touring houses, it helps to make note of everything that strikes you. Note the pros and the cons of each home, and start with a fresh sheet of paper at every house to stay organized. Chances are the real estate listing page will have plenty of photos to jog your memory, but it can’t hurt to bring a small digital camera for some snapshots. It also helps me to write down pertinent information from the listings on my own notepad (such as price, square footage, and other information) for easy comparison.

Assess and repeat.

Now it’s time to look at your options and decide if any of these homes are right for you. This can be a very difficult balance. On the one hand, you may be absolutely in love with a home, but you’re hesitant to make an offer because you want to know what else is out there. On the other hand, maybe you’re not thrilled about any of the houses, but you feel like this is all that’s available and you feel pressured to settle. Don’t let either of these mindsets sabotage your home search!

If you find a house that you love in your price range, don’t feel like you should wait! Even in a slow market, a great house can be sold right out from under you. If you love it and you can afford it, then it’s time to make an offer. Take a night to sleep on it, but if you’re still feeling strongly about that home in the morning, chances are you won’t regret making an offer.

But remember, you still have options if you don’t love anything that you’ve seen. Even if you don’t have a long list of houses you still want to view, you could always expand your search to nearby cities or wait a little while for something else to come on the market. It’s better to keep renting for a little while longer than purchase a home that you don’t love. If you haven’t found the house, then repeat these steps and keep looking until you do.

Next time we’ll discuss the final steps of the homebuying process.

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First steps for first-time homebuyers

After the dust had settled from our move to southern Indiana in January, I dramatically said I was never moving again. “My grandchildren will visit me in this apartment!” I said.

The truth is, I was just sick of packing up and moving after doing it 3 times in 9 months. Now that we’ve had a chance to settle down and get to know our new area, I’m starting to feel the house hunting itch again.

Obviously, when it comes to homebuying, the more cash you have on hand, the better. Our original plan to stay in this apartment for two years would allow us to amass a larger down payment — possibly even 20%. On the other hand, interest rates are starting to creep up again as the economy rebounds. Buying sooner rather than later would allow us to lock in a sub-5% interest rate for the life of our mortgage, which could net us big money in the long run. There are also many bank-owned houses on the market right now selling for far cheaper than they’re worth.

Even without a full 20% down payment, we could easily find a really nice house and end up paying less per month than rent.

I’ve said before, though, that alone is not a good reason to buy a house. Just because your mortgage could be lower than your rent doesn’t mean you should buy. We’ve been happy renters for the past few years for a number of reasons. Now that we’re ready to settle down in this area for the next 5-10 years (at least), we’re ready to consider buying a home. The question is whether it will be in 2012 or 2013.

We have another 9 months left on our current lease, so I’m preparing now to begin the process. Here are the first steps we’re taking:

Learn about the costs of homebuying, and save save save!

I’ve spent a lot of time learning about the homebuying process to determine the real cost of buying a house. First-time homebuyers often qualify for FHA loans with attractive interest rates and a paltry minimum down payment of 3.5%. Even conventional loans only require a 5% down payment. It can be easy to assume that all you need to buy a home is a good credit score and a few thousand dollars. Not true.

There are a ton of additional costs, including closing costs (which can range from $1,000-$5,000 or more), points if you want to lower your interest rate, inspection fees, and other miscellaneous costs. A good rule of thumb is to assume you’ll need at least $5,000 in addition to your down payment to close the deal. This guide to homebuying taught me a lot about the associated costs and process in really simple language.

Obtain your credit reports and credit scores to clean up errors and fix problems.

We already use Credit Karma to monitor our credit scores throughout the year (it’s free, but not 100% accurate, so we’ll probably end up paying for credit scores from one of the credit reporting agencies). We also check our credit reports every year using annualcreditreport.com. You’re entitled to a free copy of your credit report once each calendar year. Our scores are both in the mid-700s, and everything looks as it should on our credit reports, so we shouldn’t have any problems there.

Get prequalified for a loan to determine a realistic price range.

Some people recommend that this step come later, but I think it’s important to do it in the early stages. You need to know what you can afford right now with your current salary and cash on hand. Once you’ve got a range, you can do some preliminary price checking. If it doesn’t look like you can afford the type of house you want, it’s best to wait and save for a higher down payment.

Don’t settle for a cheaper house just because you can afford it now! Buying a house is one of the biggest commitments you will make (especially in this market). It’s better to wait and get what you really want than be unhappy in a house you don’t love just for the sake of owning one.

There’s a big difference between being preapproved for a loan and being prequalified. When you’re prequalified, a bank gives you an estimate of how much they’d be willing to loan you based on your credit history, salary, and cash on hand. They take your word for it, and do not verify any information at this point, so it’s best to be completely honest to get an accurate estimate of your borrowing power. Don’t forget to factor in property tax rates, home owner’s insurance, and PMI (if you aren’t putting a full 20% down) when estimating your monthly payment.

Preapproval is a more official step that you’ll take when you’re ready to start house hunting. The bank will verify your financial information, and make an official offer. A preapproval letter is often necessary when making a bid on a house, because it shows the owners that you’re a serious buyer and you can afford the home. Most preapprovals carry deadlines with them, so it’s best to wait until you’re ready to buy before taking that step.

Over the weekend, I used Lending Tree and Mortgage Match to get prequalifications. This confirmed that we qualify for the price range I’d already estimated based on online calculators. I won’t be finding a lender online when it’s time for preapproval, but now I have an estimate of my price range.

Do preliminary research on houses (and neighborhoods!) in your range.

We’re not 100% sure we’ll be buying in 9 months, and even if we were we wouldn’t start searching for another few months, but we spent some time this weekend driving around looking at houses that are on the market in our price range. It’s unlikely that any of these houses will be available when we’re ready to buy, but window shopping will give you a feel for the market.

It is really surprising how deceptive listing photos can be! Several houses looked really nice in pictures, but weren’t so nice up close. Or they were in sort of a scuzzy neighborhood. Again, if you start looking at houses in your price range, and they don’t look like houses you’d actually want to buy in desirable neighborhoods, it might be best to wait and save some more.

Find a buyer’s agent.

This step can actually come first if you want. A buyer’s agent can help you wade through the details, find listings in your price range, take care of the dirty work, and advise you when it’s time to make an offer. It won’t cost you a penny, because their commission is paid by the seller after the deal is done. So there’s no reason not to use an agent! Just be aware that they are salespeople, and they can be pushy. If you’re not seriously ready to start looking, you might want to wait to contact an agent to avoid the barrage of emails and phone calls pushing you to “BUY NOW!”

We’ve now taken all of these steps, and things are looking pretty good that we might actually be able to buy a home at the end of this year. We have the money to cover the down payment and most of the closing costs now. All that’s left is to ramp up our savings so we can pad our emergency fund so buying a house won’t completely clean us out.

Our plan now is to start seriously looking at houses at the end of this summer. I’ll keep you posted!

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Counting my blessings through bleary eyes

I mentioned last week that we’ve begun working with Judah on his sleep schedule. Now that he’s four months old, I think he’s ready for a routine. Because he’s still so young, I want to be gentle in its implementation. Unfortunately, gentle for the baby is still pretty brutal for his parents.

He’s responding incredibly well to his bedtime ritual. He gets his reflux medicine first, then in his dim room I change his diaper, give him a sponge bath with some nice smelling baby wash, put some nighttime baby lotion on him, dress him in pajamas and a sleep sack, nurse him, turn on his white noise machine, and put him down in his crib. Then I stay by his crib until he’s asleep. For the past few nights, it’s taken fewer than 5 minutes for him to drift off.

He sleeps well after that for about 2 to 3 hours in his crib. When he wakes up hungry at 10:30 or 11, I bring him into my room to sleep in his bassinet, and we go to bed. The problem we’re having is that he continues to wake up every 1-3 hours throughout the night. It’s not because he’s hungry. He does nurse, but it’s generally just for under 5 minutes, which makes me think it’s more a comfort thing than a hunger thing.

Now that I’m trying the methods in “The No Cry Sleep Solution,”* I’m tracking his nighttime waking schedule. I’ve found that he’s waking up completely during the normal “brief awakening” periods that we all experience throughout the night. The problem is that I’ve always nursed him to sleep, so he doesn’t know how to put himself back to sleep. So he wakes up fussing, I nurse him (typically for only 5 minutes), and he goes back to sleep. I’m not sure how to break this cycle, and I’m not willing to let him cry it out, so I don’t know what to do. I haven’t finished the book, but I’m hoping it’ll have some ideas.

The bigger problem is naps. Judah isn’t on a predictable nap schedule. He generally sleeps 15 to 30 minutes at a time here and there throughout the day, only if I’m holding him and only when he’s utterly exhausted. As soon as I try to put him down, he wakes up and starts to cry.

For the first four months, I didn’t mind holding him during his naps. The problem is, he understandably wants to be held and engaged when he’s awake. That means I’m holding him all day. This was fine in the first few months, but now I’d like to get him on a napping schedule so I can get to the laundry and the dishes and the other chores that pile up during the day.

He loves his sling, and I can run errands and shop while he’s in it. Household chores like laundry and dishes? Not so much. The jostling wakes him up, and he’s even more grouchy. Not to mention any bending with him in the sling is brutal on my back, which occasionally suffers post traumatic stress syndrome since the pregnancy. I’m also not very efficient with 13 pounds of baby right in front of me.

My first plan was to put him down every time he fell asleep in the hopes that he’d eventually get used to it. The problem with that is that he wakes up when I put him down, and then he doesn’t go back to sleep. So I end up with an extremely crabby, exhausted baby.

After a restless day yesterday, he fell asleep at 6:30 in the evening. Then he kept me up from 4 a.m. to 5:45 a.m. I nursed him at 4 a.m., and he fell asleep. When he woke up again 15 minutes later, I put my hand on his chest and soothed him from my bed, but I left him in the bassinet. It took 30 minutes, but he finally went to sleep. Usually when I try that, his crying escalates, he wakes up Tony (who I try not to disturb on weeknights, because he has to get up at 6 a.m. to earn the money that pays our bills), and Judah and I both end up upset. That method never works when he wakes up during daytime naps.

On top of all that, ongoing (minor but annoying) health issues for Judah and me have led my doctor to put me on an extremely restrictive diet. No sugar, no dairy, no gluten, no caffeine, and no artificial sweeteners for at least a month. So basically I’m starving and tired, and I can’t even drink a caffeinated beverage to perk me up.

Anyway, between my extremely restrictive diet and our recent sleep struggles, I woke up feeling pretty bleak. I’m frustrated. I’m exhausted. I’m starving all. the. time. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, as I have a tendency to do.

Then I read this article in the Chicago Tribune about how crib bumpers are more dangerous than we think. It broke my heart and reminded me how lucky I am to have a healthy baby. I decided to take a break from nap training so I can hold my baby today, listen to his quiet little snores, feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and remind myself cherish every moment, even the challenging ones, because some parents aren’t so lucky.

I also wanted to share it, because crib bumpers are one of those controversial items that aren’t recommended, but most people believe to be harmless. The truth is, they serve absolutely no purpose, and if there’s even a slight risk, they’re not worth it.

Disclosure: Asterisks denote affiliate links. If you make a purchase through Amazon using my link, I earn a few cents.

5 non-essential baby products I use every day

I remember when I first started shopping for baby things, I was so overwhelmed. There are so many baby products on the market, and sadly, so much of it is totally and completely useless. Almost every expecting mother finds herself asking the question, “What do I really need?”

Aside from the obvious essentials like diapers, clothing, and a car seat, the truth is there isn’t much you really need. But almost four months into motherhood, I’ve discovered a few items that have made my life a whole lot easier. I’d like to share them with you now.

For the record, I’m not being compensated in any way to endorse these products. All of these items I either bought for myself or were gifted to me by generous friends. These reviews are completely unsolicited by the manufacturers, and all opinions are my own.

Baby K’Tan

There are about a million different infant carriers and slings. It may seem like all of them work the same way, but the truth is, they don’t. Some of them aren’t very baby-friendly, and many of them aren’t very mom-friendly. They can be difficult to use, constricting for baby, and a lot of moms abandon them early on.

My friend Kacie loved her Baby K’Tan carrier, and generously gifted me with one of my own before Judah was born. The K’Tan is incredibly simple to use compared to other wraps. It takes me about a minute to get Judah into it, and I can do it while sitting in the backseat of the car. There’s no complicated wrapping involved. It’s made of two loops of fabric, so there aren’t yards and yards of excess fabric to get in your way.

He absolutely loves to be carried in it, and he’s typically fast asleep within 10 minutes. I don’t think either one of us would be a fan of a bulky stroller. The K’Tan keeps him close to me, and it keeps my hands free.

Arms Reach co-sleeper

Before Judah was born, my sister gave me a bedside bassinet that she never used for my nephew. I tried to put Judah in it the first two nights after we came home from the hospital, and it was a nightmare. He hated the thing, and it was too tall for me to comfort him from the bed. I also had to stand up to pick him up every time he woke me to eat. He was using a bili-blanket to treat his jaundice, and keeping him swaddled in it was impossible. I was in and out of bed all night rewrapping the blanket around him.

My mom bought us a Close and Secure Sleeper* that worked great for the first 6 weeks. He was right in bed with us, but I was able to sleep soundly with him in his own space. Even though it was small, fitting it in a queen-sized bed with two adults was a squeeze, so it wasn’t very comfortable for us. He also grew out of it quickly.

I read rave reviews about the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper, a bassinet that attaches to the side of the bed. I ordered the Clear Vue mini bassinet model, and it has worked fabulously. If you’re breastfeeding, I absolutely recommend it. He sleeps right next to me, but he doesn’t take up space in the bed. This particular model has adjustable legs, which allowed us to tilt it a few inches to help with his reflux. Its weight limit is 23 pounds, so it will last longer than the typical bassinet with a 15- or 18-pound limit.

Cloud B Gentle Giraffe sound machine

During our endless struggle for better sleep, we discovered that Judah was soothed into sleep by white noise. My sister recommended the Cloud B Sleep Sheep*, but when I discovered there was an adorable giraffe* that matched his nursery’s jungle theme, I had to have that one. I named him Geoffrey.

There are four different sounds, including some jungle beats, a waterfall, and a sound that’s supposed to mimic mother’s heartbeat from the womb. He doesn’t really like any of the sounds except for the waterfall, but he loves it. A timer turns it off after 23 or 45 minutes, and a velcro strap attaches it to the side of the bassinet or crib. It comes with us where ever we go to help Judah fall asleep.

Snappi diaper fastener

If you’re using prefold cloth diapers, there are all kinds of different ways to fold the diapers to avoid using pins or fasteners. I find that the Snappi fasteners* give me a snugger fit, which is really important in those first months when diapers can be particularly messy. My mom and Tony’s grandmother, who both used cloth diapers with pins, marvel at how easy it is for me to fasten Judah’s diapers without sticking myself or him.

Bumbo seat

I’ve only owned this thing for a day, but Judah already loves it. He’s been insisting on being held in a seated or standing position for the last few weeks, and it’s made it difficult for me to multi-task while holding him. The Bumbo seat* allows him to sit up straight without assistance even though he’s a couple months away from doing that on his own, and I’ve read that it aids in healthy development of the spine and posture.

What baby products have you found helpful?

Disclosure: Asterisks denote affiliate links. If you make a purchase through Amazon using my link, I earn a few cents.