Category Archives: Health

99 days to go (give or take a few)

My estimated due date is fewer than 100 days away. It’s unlikely that I’ll deliver on my due date — most women don’t. It’s also highly possible that I’ll deliver after my due date — most women do for their first baby. But this still feels like a milestone, and these days, I’ll take what I can get when it comes to encouragement.

It seems like such a short amount of time considering all that I have left to do. The “nursery” is still filled with boxes of office supplies that we don’t know what to do with. I’ve collected a few odds and ends here and there (cloth diapers and clothing mostly), but we don’t have any of the furniture or anything else. Ever since I found out I’m pregnant, I’ve been telling myself I have plenty of time. But that time is starting to run short.

In honor of this “milestone,” I thought I’d share what we have done and what’s left to do. Hopefully it’ll motivate us to get moving.

Done

  • We registered for birth classes beginning in October. We’ll be taking a Childbirth Preparation class at the hospital. I also signed up for infant/child CPR and a breastfeeding class.
  • I ordered the HypnoBabies home study course back in June, but I’ll finally start in mid-September when I’m close to 30 weeks. Kacie will be taking the course with me so we can be study buddies. HypnoBabies isn’t as kooky as it sounds. It’s a natural-birth course that teaches women to manage pain through guided meditation and relaxation techniques instead of pain meds. I did a lot of research before I chose this program, and women who’ve used it say the methods they learned really did help them stay relaxed and manage their pain without medication. We’ll see!
  • We completed a registry, and our families are planning to throw us two baby showers. Yay! We kept our registry pretty small, because I’m really trying to keep the amount of stuff we cram into our apartment to a minimum. Both showers will be held in the middle of October, so that’ll give us plenty of time to buy what we still need after the showers before the baby comes.
  • We’ve picked up a few items here and there. I’ve started my cloth diaper stash, and we have several items of clothing that we’ve picked up or our families have picked up for us. Tony’s grandmother loves to shop yard sales, and she says she’s bought a ton of clothing for us there.
  • We’re 95% settled on a name for our little boy, but we’re keeping it a secret until his birth day.

To Do

  • Right now, the nursery is a depository for office supplies and other stuff we don’t have a place for. We need turn it into an actual nursery.
  • We still need to get pretty much everything we’ll need for the baby.
  • Since no one in our families used cloth diapers, I’m not anticipating that any of them will feel comfortable enough to order diapers for us. So we’ll have to finish up our stash in the next couple months.
  • I’ve been reading and preparing for a natural birth, but I still have a couple books I’d like to finish.
  • Several years ago, I started working on a hand quilt that I still haven’t finished. I want to finish that and turn my wedding gown into a baby quilt this fall.
  • We need to make some decisions about the birth and create a birth plan for my midwives and the nurses attending my delivery.

It’s going to be a busy few months, especially October. Our baby showers and all three of our classes are taking place in October. But I’m so excited that we’re finally getting to the fun parts! Hopefully December will be here before we know it.

Photo by miiitch

More insurance company fun! /sarcasm

Oh, health insurance. Why must you make everything so complicated?

By the time I got pregnant, I thought I was pretty prepared for everything. As it turns out, I was not only unprepared for the emotional and physical stress of pregnancy, but there are many logistical issues that I never considered.

Last year, I found out that when a pregnancy spans two separate calendar years (pretty common considering the majority of pregnancies last 9 whole months), you’re responsible for paying your deductible twice. It makes sense in theory, but ugh. What a pain!

I’m lucky in this regard. My due date is December 9. My new midwife (who is fantastic, by the way, but that’s another post) says it’s highly unlikely that my pregnancy will continue beyond 42 weeks. I’m committed to a natural birth, but I’m willing to discuss induction at 42 weeks. That means I will likely go into labor by December 23 at the latest. Since I’ll deliver in 2010, I’ll pay a single deductible. Whew.

It wasn’t until a few days ago that I considered the possibility of a third deductible.

According to several resources, it’s common for hospitals to issue a separate bill for the baby’s hospital care after birth. Once the baby is born, he becomes an individual, and he’ll receive separate care in the hospital. Even in a normal birth that doesn’t require a stay in the NICU (fingers crossed that we’ll avoid that nightmare), the baby will incur his own medical bills.

I also found out that depending on the insurance provider and the policy, it’s possible that the baby will require his own insurance deductible. Blerg. Again, this makes sense in theory, and I can’t believe I never thought about it. But to be fair, you never really think about insurance deductibles for newborns until you’re pregnant.

Some insurance companies include newborns under their mother’s deductible for the first 30 days. Many include the hospital stay after delivery under the mother’s deductible, but well baby care after discharge is separate. It really just depends on the insurance provider and the policy.

My individual deductible is $2,500. I’ve already met my deductible for this year with prenatal care, so I was looking forward to owing $0 after my delivery. A separate deductible for our new baby would change that. Even routine well baby care for a two-day hospital stay can add up pretty quickly. He’d likely reach his own deductible after just a couple days in the hospital, and $2,500 isn’t chump change.

As much as I hate (hate hate hate) calling my insurance company, I needed to know how they would handle my new baby’s deductible. If we were going to owe $2,500 to the hospital after the birth, I’d rather prepare for it than be hit with a surprise bill.

Of course, it’s not possible to call my insurance company and speak to a person without sitting through an impossible automated system that asks 45 questions. Half the time, the automated system doesn’t understand my responses, and I have to repeat myself four or five times. As I’m transferred from department to department, I have to answer the same questions two or three times. There is nothing I hate more than talking — out loud — to a robot. It is a complete nightmare. But I’m lucky to have health insurance at all, even COBRA, so I deal with it.

The conclusion? The baby’s hospital care will be included under my deductible. Once we’re discharged from the hospital, he will become an individual policy holder with his own deductible.

If you’re pregnant (or considering getting pregnant), I suggest you check with your insurance company to find out their policy for handling deductibles for newborns. It’s better to be prepared than surprised!

Photo by joannao

I think it’s safe to blame the hormones

Vivid dreams are a side effect of pregnancy for which I wasn’t prepared. Most of the time, they’re wacky (like the other night when I dreamed that Michael Phelps towed my sinking cruise ship to shore, rescuing everyone on board). But last night, it was bittersweet.

In the dream, it was fall. Crisp, cool air replaced the stagnant, wet heat outside right now. Tony and I were going on a trip somewhere exciting. It was sunny and beautiful, and I felt well. I felt light and cheery and good in a way that my body hasn’t felt for, oh, about 5 months now.

When I woke up, it was a bitter reminder of the stark contrast between how my body feels now, and how I used to feel when my biggest complaint in the morning was that I didn’t feel like going to the gym. What I wouldn’t give to put in 3 miles on a treadmill now, but I feel too heavy, too sick, too exhausted all. the. time.

It’s not that nobody warned me. I witnessed my sisters as they endured 9+ months of discomfort during pregnancy. I knew I’d likely face the same fate. But I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand what will happen to you during pregnancy until you’ve experienced it yourself. I know I wasn’t prepared.

And yes, I know, I know, it’s all worth it. Unfortunately, when you’re pregnant for the first time, there’s no real frame of reference. Like pregnancy, parenthood is something that’s impossible to understand or grasp until you experience it. So for now, I’m feeling a whole lot of discomfort with only a vague understanding of what awaits at the finish line.

I am completely aware of how lucky I am. That’s why I’ve tried really hard to keep my complaining to myself. We decided we’d like to have a baby, and a month later I was pregnant. That alone is a feat considering how many people struggle for months and even years with infertility. So far, the baby is healthy and thriving despite my discomfort. I quit my full-time job pretty early in the pregnancy to begin a freelance career, so I won’t have to worry about returning to an office after the baby is born. And Tony is about as patient and forgiving as a husband can be, even when I don’t deserve it (especially when I don’t deserve it). He cooks and cleans and takes care of me on the days when I’m too sick to get up (and yes, I’m still having those days, even at 22 weeks).

I’m fully aware that I’m lucky, which is why I choose not to write most days instead of writing what I’m feeling. But the truth is, I struggle to feel grateful. I know I have much to be thankful for, but I’m human, and it’s hard to feel grateful after 5 months of what feels like stomach flu. It’s hard to feel grateful as I swell to twice my previous size. It’s hard to feel grateful as I struggle to sleep at night and concentrate during the day. I know it’s not supposed to be easy, but somehow the inability to feel grateful is the hardest part.

And then I feel guilty about it. I remind myself of how lucky I am, and I feel guilty because it’s so hard for me to appreciate it right now. It’s a vicious cycle, and I suspect that it will continue at least until the baby is born (and likely beyond).

Despite the guilt, I have to admit — I hate being pregnant. I know how sad this will seem to the many women who enjoy the whole process, but I am not one of them. It has been a roller coaster ride with fewer ups than downs, and although I’m barely halfway through it, I’m already counting down the days until it’s over.

I am miserable most of the time. I don’t feel like myself. I snap at my husband over the stupidest things. I shout at my dog for annoying me when all he’s trying to do is comfort me the only way he knows how. Lifting myself from bed in the morning feels like running a marathon; I feel so heavy, and my muscles and joints are so stiff. I’m constantly overheated. I’m depressed. And then there’s the continued nausea and constant pain, of course.

I can’t help but feel like I’m having some sort of allergic reaction to my unborn child. Thankfully, he seems to be doing fine, despite the fact that my body is rejecting his presence so violently.

So. Why don’t you tell me your favorite thing about having kids? Because I sure could use a reminder of why this will all be worth it in the end.

Photo by cglatz

Health insurance hijinks

Remember a few days ago when I said I’d like to have a midwife, but they’re not covered by my insurance? It turns out I was wrong. Well, EYE wasn’t wrong so much as my insurance company was wrong. Amazing, right?

Yesterday, I set about the task of finding a new doctor in Fort Wayne so I could make my next appointment with them. When I first started looking for a doctor (or midwife), I started my search with my insurance company’s directory of in-network physicians. For an in-network physician, my out-of-pocket costs will be $2,000. For someone outside the network, it would be $4,500. Big difference.

To be honest, I didn’t try very hard to find a midwife. I ran a search for certified nurse midwives (a specialty that was included in the drop-down menu for my insurance company’s directory search). When it said there were zero in-network midwives in the entire state of Indiana, I was skeptical. But I chose an OB, and moved on. I decided I’d give the OB a shot, and if I was unhappy with her, I’d explore switching to a midwife once we were settled.

When I started my search for midwives in Fort Wayne, I found a practice that interested me. Their website listed my insurance provider as one of the plans they accept, so I called to confirm. They verified that yes, they accept my insurance. I asked if it was possible that the midwives would accept different insurance plans from the obstetricians, and she said no. All physicians, midwives, and nurse practitioners in their practice accept the same insurance plans. Great!

I assumed that there was a glitch in the providers directory on the website, so I called to verify that the midwife I wanted was in-network.

As a brief aside, can I just say how much I hate talking to a recording? It’s bad enough when I have to choose my options by hitting a number on the keypad, but at least I don’t have to repeat myself a million times. My insurance company’s recorded message is the WORST. Every time I call them, the menu takes me in so many circles that I’m dizzy and frustrated by the time I talk to an actual person. I’ve actually started repeating, “Representative” over and over again just to avoid the mess.

When I finally got to talk to a real live human, I explained my situation. He responded flatly, “We don’t cover home births.”

Me: “Um. That’s fine. I don’t want a home birth. The midwife I want delivers at an in-network hospital.”

Him: “We don’t cover midwives, because they’re not licensed to deliver babies legally in Indiana.”

Um. WHAT. At that point, it became clear to me that the guy had absolutely no idea what a midwife is. So I asked as politely as I could if I could speak with someone who does, in fact, know what a midwife is. He was pretty annoyed by the request, but he transferred me.

I didn’t have much luck with the next representative. He ran a search in the database, probably using the same search tool I had used, and told me flatly that the provider I want isn’t in network, because there are no midwives in network. I told him what the insurance specialist at the midwife practice had told me about all of their physicians accepting my insurance, and he told me she was wrong. Okay.

Frustrated, I hung up and called the midwife practice again. I told the woman what happened, and she was confused. Apparently, they bill my insurance company frequently. It’s a major one, and a lot of their patients are on it. She even asked about my specific plan, and said that yep, a ton of their patients are on my very same plan. WTF?!

At this point, I was irritated and determined to straighten it out. I called the insurance company again, dealt with the insufferable menu options, and finally got to a person again. Thankfully, this representative was not a total idiot.

He explained the problem, which actually makes complete sense. Midwives don’t come up in the physician search, because they’re not physicians. They practice and bill under a physician. In that case, I don’t understand why “Certified Nurse Midwife” is a search option on their website, but whatever. He explained that I needed to find out my midwife’s attending physician, and search for him or her. If the physician is covered, the midwife is, too. Duh. I’m glad that SOMEONE at my insurance company understands how it works, because the previous two people to whom I spoke had NO IDEA.

The moral of the story? If you’re hoping to have your birth attended by a midwife, search for your midwife’s attending physician. And don’t expect your insurance company to make things easy on you.

Photo by mkmabus

Indulgences that are killing your diet & your budget

If you’re trying to lose weight and cut expenses, it’s no secret that the first place to look is your shopping cart. The idea that healthy eating is expensive is a myth. In fact, those pricey convenience foods driving up your grocery costs are probably sabotaging your diet, too. Next time you’re at the grocery store, check your cart and swap these no-nos for healthier, more frugal alternatives.

Soda

Sodas are not only expensive — they’re also full of sugar, artificial flavors, and empty calories. Studies show that even diet sodas can lead to weight gain. Considering its negative effects on your health, the cost of soda is outrageous. Just one 12-pack per week is likely to add $12-$20 a month to your grocery expenses. Instead of drinking soda, invest in a water filtration system like Brita or Pur. If you miss flavor, drink unsweetened tea with lemon instead.

Alcohol

If wine, beer or liquor are weekly staples on your grocery list, it’s time to take a serious look at how much it’s costing you — not just in dollars but also in calories. Alcohol is one of the least nutritious, most caloric things you can consume. Removing it from your grocery list and your diet is a must.

Fruit Juice

Fruit juice is full of nutrients, and it’s not an inherently unhealthy drink to consume. However, when you’re trying to lose weight, it’s not a good idea to drink your calories. A glass of fruit juice is likely to have as many calories as a small snack, but it will leave you feeling unsatisfied and craving more food. Considering most fruit juices cost around $3 for a half gallon, you’re better off sticking to tea and water. Fresh fruit offers the same health benefits as juice, but an apple is a more satisfying snack than a glass of apple juice.

“Low calorie” or “fat free” snacks foods

These convenience foods not only cost a fortune, but they may not be helping you lose weight. Not only are they full of artificial ingredients and sweeteners, studies show that you’re likely to eat larger portions of “fat free” and “low cal” foods, which may cancel out their benefits. Instead of buying snack foods, opt for fresh produce. Choose fruits and vegetables that are currently in season for the lowest prices. If produce prices are too high, canned fruits and vegetables are the next best thing.

Photo by B Tal

I wasn’t even being chased

This morning I finally ran a 5K after four months of training.

My first accomplishment was actually getting to the race and starting. I was convinced that it was too soon, and that I wasn’t ready. I almost backed out at the last minute.

But I made it there, and I ran the race. I’m not going to lie to you — it was hard. Today wasn’t just my first race — it’s the longest I’ve ever run in my life. I’d never run longer than a mile and a half in one stretch.

When I came to mile 1, it felt like I’d already been running for an hour. I made the mistake of training indoors on a treadmill, and running outside was a whole different experience. My lungs were burning with the chilly morning air. My legs ached as they hit the hard concrete. Several times during the race, I wondered if I could actually finish. I considered stopped, cutting through, and walking back to the car without finishing. But I kept going.

I was hoping I’d get a second wind as I hit mile 3. Instead, I just felt exhausted. I wondered how I’d actually get over the finish line.

At that moment, you’ll never believe what song randomly started playing on my iPod shuffle: “Eye of the Tiger.” I almost couldn’t believe it myself. I was going to finish my first 5K to “Eye of the Tiger”? It was too perfect. So I picked up the pace, pushed myself a little further, and I crossed the finish line.

My goal was to finish the race in under 40 minutes. I came in at 41:35. That’s roughly a 13:45 minute mile. My fastest speed is about 12:30 minutes per mile, but considering the fact that I’ve never run a full three miles, I’m cutting myself some slack for endurance.

I may have been slow by a seasoned runner’s standards, but I still crossed the finish line feeling like Rocky.

Photo by Tony, who was so proud when I crossed the finish line that he actually got misty eyed. :)

Losing the battle, winning the war

I write about this topic a. lot. It’s because after years of working on it, I still spend way too much time beating myself up when I have to let things go.

This week I announced that I’ll be updating this blog a little less frequently for the next few weeks as we head into the final weeks before our move. I put a lot of thought into the decision, and I know it’s the right thing to do if I want to maintain my to-do list and my sanity. But knowing it’s the right decision wasn’t enough to keep me from feeling defeated when Tuesday passed with Monday’s post on the homepage.

I’m running my first 5K this Saturday after months of training. The last week in February, my training was going really well. My times were up, my endurance was strong, and I felt like I would surely be ready by the end of March. Then I came down with a brutal cold in the second week of the month that kept me out of the gym for over a week. The endurance and speed that I worked so hard to build flew right out the window. My lungs are still recovering, and my body is still weak from what was a pretty nasty virus. This week I can barely make it a mile before I have to slow down and walk.

My difficult runs aren’t a product of laziness, and I can’t control it. Still I can’t help but my kick myself as I consider the strong possibility that I won’t reach my goal on Saturday. I may not be able to run all 3 miles without walking, and my time will likely be much slower than I hoped.

I know I’m not alone in this endless struggle to convince myself that obstacles are not necessarily failures. I know that you can lose the battle without losing the war, but I still have trouble getting over even the smallest of defeats.

I think a lot of women (and men for that matter) waste too much energy beating themselves up instead of building themselves up. Unfortunately, I’m proof that recognizing the problem isn’t enough to solve it. I can tell myself over and over that it’s okay to take a step back, the important thing is to keep going. Yet I still end up here — beating myself up for obstacles that I can’t control and feeling defeated prematurely. Of course, that attitude isn’t very motivating, and I end up sabotaging myself with negativity in the end.

It’s a vicious cycle that I hope to someday overcome. In the meantime, I just have to keep reminding myself that each setback makes me stronger, brings me one step closer to my goals, and teaches me a valuable lesson in how not to get there.

Photo by kaneda99

Choosing the right gym for you

My friend Kacie is considering a gym membership, so she asked me for some advice on how I chose my gym. When I started thinking about it, I realized how much more goes into choosing a gym than just finding a good deal.

No matter how little you spend per month, it’s a waste of money if you’re not using the membership. Before you sign a contract, spend some time researching, visiting gyms in your area, and asking questions. As you consider your options, keep these things in mind.

How do you like to work out?

When I’m working out, I like to be alone with my thoughts. I read a book while pedaling on a stationary bike or listen to music while running on the treadmill. For some people, nothing sounds more boring, and they’d rather take a fitness class. If you’re looking to tone up and you’ve never lifted weights before, you’ll want beginner weight lifting equipment. If you’re not sure, you’ll want a gym with a mix of cardio and weight lifting equipment as well as a variety of class offerings so you can try it all.

How much instruction do you need?

If you’ve never worked out before, you might want to choose a gym that offers guidance through personal training or fitness classes. My gym offers free orientation sessions where they teach you how to use all of the equipment and help you develop a work out plan that fits your needs. If you’re a beginner, that kind of instruction and guidance may be what you need to get started on the right track and stick to it.

What kind of gym culture do you want?

Make sure you take a tour of the gym you’re considering during the time of day you’re most likely to work out. Pay attention to the people working out and the way you feel around them. You should be comfortable and feel like you fit in the gym. You may feel a little timid if you’re a beginner, but you shouldn’t feel inadequate or uncomfortable.

When I was looking for a gym, I visited two different places. One of them was filled with big muscle men and women. The women looked like they’d put on makeup and did their hair before heading to the gym. I would not have fit in there. My gym caters to people who are trying to lose weight or get in shape, so it’s a much better fit for me.

When do you want to work out?

Be sure that your gym will be open when it’s most convenient for you to work out. If you’re a night owl, a gym that closes early isn’t for you. If you like to get up at the crack of dawn, make sure your gym has early hours. And be sure to ask about weekend hours.

Wait for a deal.

Once you choose your gym, don’t just rush in and sign up for full price. It seems like every other month my gym is covered in signs offering great deals for new members. I paid full price for my membership, and a week later, they started a promotion that waived the $30 application fee. I could have saved $30 just by waiting a few days.

Before you sign up, ask if there are any annual membership drives coming up. Continue working out at home for a few weeks while you watch for deals. You could end up locking in a cheaper monthly price just by taking your time.

Understand your contract.

Just because they’re pushing you to sign a 12-month contract doesn’t mean it’s your only option. Think realistically about your track record. Are you someone who has struggled to stick with exercise in the past? Then a 12-month contract might not be for you. Ask about other options to protect yourself from throwing money every month at a gym you’re not using.

Photo by obo-bobolina

Slow down, you’re moving too fast

Almost two months ago, I started training to run my first 5K. I started out strong and motivated, but instead of getting easier, it’s been getting harder.

For the past few weeks, motivation has been a problem for me. As the runs became longer and more intense, my drive to get myself into the gym every night started waning. I wasn’t progressing in the Couch to 5K program as quickly as I wanted, and I was dreading my workouts instead of looking forward to them.

Last week, I came close to giving up. So I decided I needed a new game plan.

Couch to 5K is based on interval training with a blend of walking and running. It begins with equal intervals of walking and running, but as your training builds, the walking intervals decrease and running times increase. I was doing well in the sprints, but as the running intervals increased, I started to struggle.

This week I wanted to increase my endurance, and so I decreased my speed a little. I’d been setting my running pace at the same miles per hour from the beginning, but I realized that the speed that worked well for shorts sprints during interval training was too fast to sustain on longer jogs.

Sure enough, my endurance was much better at the slower speed. I made it through my first long run without walking on Monday, and last night, I ran a mile straight without walking for the first time. (YES! PROGRESS!)

So I’ve changed my game plan. Couch to 5K was a fantastic training plan for me in the beginning, but it’s not working for me anymore, so I’ve developed my own training plan. I’m focusing on distance and endurance instead of speed.

I have about a month to build from a 1-mile run to 3 miles for my 5K at the end of March. With each workout, I’m going to increase my distance by a quarter mile, but my pace will remain at a relatively steady jog. As the jogs get easier, I’ll gradually increase my pace. My goal is to run the entire 5K in under 40 minutes. That may seem slow to seasoned runners, but it would be a victory for me.

It’s a relief to realize that I’m not failing just because one training plan didn’t work for me. It doesn’t matter how I get there as long as I accomplish my goal.

My problem was that I was trying to do too much too fast. I wanted to see results overnight, and when it didn’t happen as quickly as I wanted, I came close to giving up. But I reminded myself that running is a discipline that takes time and dedication, just like saving money or getting out of debt. It’s about making progress little by little, step by step. It’s important to keep the ultimate goal in mind, but you also have to keep all of those little steps in mind to motivate yourself. You have to celebrate each little step as it brings closer to your goal.

My motivation is renewed, and I’m ready to try a new approach.

Photo by chezdom