Tag Archives: baby

It’s a …

BOY! :)

Most importantly, our ultrasound showed that everything is developing normally, and he’s nice and healthy.

In other news, we are still waiting for confirmation that we’ll be able to move into our new place on Saturday. With any luck, we’ll be moving this weekend, which means I’ll be offline for at least a few days, but possibly a little longer. If we’re not moving Saturday, I’m crossing my fingers that we’ll be moved in by Monday at the latest.

If we’re looking at more than a few days without Internet connection, I’ll set up a temporary office at the nearest free wi-fi hotspot so I can continue to update until we have Internet connected in our apartment, but please be patient for a few days at least while we get settled.

Have a great weekend, and send us good moving vibes if you can. It’s been a stressful moving process already, and it’s nowhere near over yet.

Photo by nova_hokie

Take a guess

We’re on our way now for our ultrasound, and hopefully we’ll find out if we’re having a boy or a girl. I figured I’d give you all a chance to take a guess just for fun!

Here are some stats:

  • I’ve been nauseated pretty much non-stop since about 6 weeks, but that probably doesn’t mean anything because my mom and two of my three sisters battled prolonged morning sickness with all of their pregnancies, both boys and girls.
  • Heartburn started early — I think around 10 weeks? It’s pretty severe, and it seems like pretty much anything I eat causes it.
  • I started showing early at about 12 weeks, and I’m carrying low so far.
  • My hair and skin are a mess. Frizzy hair, dry skin. But this also may have more to do with my nausea/fatigue than it does the baby. I just don’t have the energy to primp like I used to.
  • My cravings have been all over the place, but due to the nausea, they’ve been very limited. The biggest thing has been fruit (peaches especially) and anything with cheese.
  • In the beginning, I was sure it was a boy. But as we get closer to the ultrasound date, I’m less sure. After all, there’s a 50/50 chance!

So I guess I didn’t give you much information, but it’s really all guessing at this point anyway, right. My official guess is that it’s a boy. Even though I’m less sure than I was in the beginning, I still just have a feeling. Tony thinks it’s a girl, but I think he’s just being contentious because I’ve been so adamant that it’s a boy. :)

Either way, wish us luck for a healthy baby who’s not so shy that we can’t tell.

More expensive isn’t necessarily better

I’ll be 19 weeks pregnant tomorrow. That’s halfway to full term. I’ll also be finding out the sex of the baby if he or she cooperates (fingers crossed). We could be moving to our new place as soon as this Saturday. Which means I’m out of excuses. It’s time to start shopping for baby stuff.

Yes, we have friends and family who will likely want to gift us with various baby items that we’ll need. But the last thing I want to do is exploit anyone’s generosity. Furthermore, our families just aren’t very big, and money is tight for everyone right now. Ultimately, the responsibility to provide for this baby is ours, and we’re trying to do it as frugally as possible.

Over the weekend, I started researching cribs and car seats and various other musts for the baby. I found some pretty incredible deals on cribs at Wal-Mart. This one was particularly compelling, and I really liked this one, too. (No one is paying me to stay that, either.)

I checked out the specifications. Both of these cribs meet safety standards dictated by the Consumer Product Safety Commission for cribs. They do not feature drop sides as many of those models have been recalled due to the safety concerns. There’s no reason to believe that these cribs are any less safe than the fancy ones that retail for $500-$600. So why do I feel guilty for considering a basic crib for my baby?

I know that this baby isn’t going to care if the crib has a fancy finish or if it scratches easily. I certainly don’t care about those things. I just want to make sure that the baby has a safe place to sleep, and I want to choose a crib that complies with all of the current safety standards. These cribs do at a fraction of the price of fancier models. And honestly, when it comes to recalls and possible problems, expense doesn’t seem to be an issue. Even the most expensive cribs can be recalled.

Over and over I’ve read about how having a baby doesn’t have to be expensive. And I don’t believe that it does. But as parents, especially first-time parents, we face an overwhelming amount of pressure to spend a lot of money for the baby, and we feel guilt for attempting to cut costs. But why? After all, I don’t believe the baby will be happier in an overpriced crib if it means we have less money to provide other necessities, like a place to live or health insurance.

I’ve realized that shopping for the baby is going to be a intricate balancing act. For things like cribs and car seats, safety is my top priority. If I can’t find a car seat with high safety ratings at a low price, then I’ll have to spend the extra money. But safety is my only concern. If I can find an off-brand item that’s just as safe for a lower price, I’m not going to feel guilty about it.

The consumer culture constantly pushes us to believe that more expensive is better. Sometimes that’s true, but not always. We have to be smart consumers, and we have to learn to balance price with quality. I’m not going to spend twice as much for some unnecessary bells and whistles if I can find a product that will do the same job for half the price.

Of course, as a new mom, that’s easier said than done.

Photo by caseysworld

17 weeks and nothing to say

I know it’s been quiet here. Quieter than normal. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m really struggling to find the motivation to do much of anything, even something as simple as writing a blog post. This is one of many things that I hope will pass — and soon.

Unfortunately, not much has changed since my last pregnancy post, so I’ll spare you the complaining. I’m still tired, still sick, still popping Tums like candy for the constant heartburn, still waiting to feel better. I’m starting to think I might never feel healthy again.

We’ve scheduled an ultrasound, though, and we’ll find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl on July 15. I’m looking forward to that date for a couple reasons: I could really use the good baby vibes that come with finding out the sex. After that, I’ll be able to start some of the fun parts of pregnancy, like shopping for lots of tiny baby things and setting up the nursery. It’ll also mark my 19th week of pregnancy, which means I’ll officially be halfway to full term.

And now, because Kacie will kill me if I don’t post one soon, here’s my first official bump picture.

Health insurance hijinks

Remember a few days ago when I said I’d like to have a midwife, but they’re not covered by my insurance? It turns out I was wrong. Well, EYE wasn’t wrong so much as my insurance company was wrong. Amazing, right?

Yesterday, I set about the task of finding a new doctor in Fort Wayne so I could make my next appointment with them. When I first started looking for a doctor (or midwife), I started my search with my insurance company’s directory of in-network physicians. For an in-network physician, my out-of-pocket costs will be $2,000. For someone outside the network, it would be $4,500. Big difference.

To be honest, I didn’t try very hard to find a midwife. I ran a search for certified nurse midwives (a specialty that was included in the drop-down menu for my insurance company’s directory search). When it said there were zero in-network midwives in the entire state of Indiana, I was skeptical. But I chose an OB, and moved on. I decided I’d give the OB a shot, and if I was unhappy with her, I’d explore switching to a midwife once we were settled.

When I started my search for midwives in Fort Wayne, I found a practice that interested me. Their website listed my insurance provider as one of the plans they accept, so I called to confirm. They verified that yes, they accept my insurance. I asked if it was possible that the midwives would accept different insurance plans from the obstetricians, and she said no. All physicians, midwives, and nurse practitioners in their practice accept the same insurance plans. Great!

I assumed that there was a glitch in the providers directory on the website, so I called to verify that the midwife I wanted was in-network.

As a brief aside, can I just say how much I hate talking to a recording? It’s bad enough when I have to choose my options by hitting a number on the keypad, but at least I don’t have to repeat myself a million times. My insurance company’s recorded message is the WORST. Every time I call them, the menu takes me in so many circles that I’m dizzy and frustrated by the time I talk to an actual person. I’ve actually started repeating, “Representative” over and over again just to avoid the mess.

When I finally got to talk to a real live human, I explained my situation. He responded flatly, “We don’t cover home births.”

Me: “Um. That’s fine. I don’t want a home birth. The midwife I want delivers at an in-network hospital.”

Him: “We don’t cover midwives, because they’re not licensed to deliver babies legally in Indiana.”

Um. WHAT. At that point, it became clear to me that the guy had absolutely no idea what a midwife is. So I asked as politely as I could if I could speak with someone who does, in fact, know what a midwife is. He was pretty annoyed by the request, but he transferred me.

I didn’t have much luck with the next representative. He ran a search in the database, probably using the same search tool I had used, and told me flatly that the provider I want isn’t in network, because there are no midwives in network. I told him what the insurance specialist at the midwife practice had told me about all of their physicians accepting my insurance, and he told me she was wrong. Okay.

Frustrated, I hung up and called the midwife practice again. I told the woman what happened, and she was confused. Apparently, they bill my insurance company frequently. It’s a major one, and a lot of their patients are on it. She even asked about my specific plan, and said that yep, a ton of their patients are on my very same plan. WTF?!

At this point, I was irritated and determined to straighten it out. I called the insurance company again, dealt with the insufferable menu options, and finally got to a person again. Thankfully, this representative was not a total idiot.

He explained the problem, which actually makes complete sense. Midwives don’t come up in the physician search, because they’re not physicians. They practice and bill under a physician. In that case, I don’t understand why “Certified Nurse Midwife” is a search option on their website, but whatever. He explained that I needed to find out my midwife’s attending physician, and search for him or her. If the physician is covered, the midwife is, too. Duh. I’m glad that SOMEONE at my insurance company understands how it works, because the previous two people to whom I spoke had NO IDEA.

The moral of the story? If you’re hoping to have your birth attended by a midwife, search for your midwife’s attending physician. And don’t expect your insurance company to make things easy on you.

Photo by mkmabus

In which I finally overcome my denial about moving again

A few weeks ago, I wrote briefly about how Tony accepted an adjunct teaching position at a small college near Fort Wayne, Indiana. At the time, the position was only offering two courses. They’ve since offered him another class, which means a tiny bit more money, but the pay is still unbearably low with no benefits or job security. It’s the best offer he’s had, so we accepted. Money will be tight, but this job is hopefully a stepping stone toward better opportunities.

The decision has led to a prolonged bout of denial and anxiety about a number of things, no doubt exacerbated by the 14-week-old fetus that I’m incubating (don’t ask how long it took my pregnant brain to figure out how to spell exacerbated, despite the fact that I think I correctly spelled it once in a 3rd-grade spelling bee). I don’t want to move yet again, especially while pregnant. I don’t want to find a new doctor, or face another year of financial and residential instability.

Most of all, though, I really don’t want to accept the fact that this decision puts us back to square one financially. It’s going to be a while before we have enough wiggle room in our budget to start saving again, unfortunately. It’s back to a bare bones budget and a sadly dwindling bank account.

We’re also back in debt. We currently owe the hospital about $2,000 for my insurance deductible. It’s money that we have, that we technically could pay right now, but letting go of that kind of cash with no income is a little too scary for me. So we’ve worked out an interest-free payment plan to pay it back over the next several months to decrease the sting a little.

I’m thankful for my health insurance, even if it is expensive, and glad that it only requires us to pay $2,000 out of pocket for my entire pregnancy. I was feeling bitter about the cost of my monthly insurance premiums until I started receiving my first bills for prenatal care. Between ultrasounds and lab work, I capped my deductible in my first appointment. So yeah. I don’t mind writing those insurance checks every month.

We have a lot of decisions to make in the next month, and a long list of to-dos during a time when I can barely force myself to get out of bed and take a shower, let alone find a new doctor, find an apartment we can afford, and get myself together enough to start substitute teaching in the fall.

But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that despite all the stress, I’m looking forward to moving into the home where we’ll welcome this baby in December — the place that will first house our family. The icing on the cake? We’ll get to enjoy a real fall this year; we’ll hopefully see a real live snowstorm or two this winter; and we’ll be just a short drive away from the families that were over 800 miles away just a few months ago.

Considering our budget, our next home will likely to be cramped. We might not even be able to afford a place with an extra room for a nursery. But it will be our home, the place where I’ll set up my baby’s furniture, fold his or her tiny little clothes, and prepare for a new chapter in our lives.

That doesn’t mean getting there isn’t going to be a pain in the ass.

Photo by martie

Preparing for baby

Disclaimer: I plan to be pretty open about baby stuff here. If you’re not into the baby thing, please feel free to skip these posts. I’m trying to keep baby posts down to one a week since I know I have readers who don’t have children. I realize that with posting so light lately, it seems like a lot of my posts are baby-related. I promise that once I’m feeling better and my posting schedule gets back to normal, I’ll be balancing baby posts with finance and other fun stuff. As always, if you have questions or suggestions for topics you’d like to read about here, please send me an email.

This weekend, I’ll be 14 weeks pregnant. That means I made it through the first trimester! Yay! Unfortunately, I’m still not feeling a whole lot better. Everyone, including my doctor, keeps saying, “Any day now!” I’m thinking if I don’t feel at least a little better by next week then it’s time to call my doctor and tell her she’s a BIG LIAR.

I’m kidding. Sorta.

I’m also considering taping my days so the footage can be shown to high school health classes to caution teens about the risks of unprotected sex. Because seriously, you guys, pregnancy hasn’t been pretty for me so far.

Kidding again. But not really.

Now that I’m through the first 14 weeks, it’s time for me to start planning a little. There is so much to consider, and I don’t want to be overwhelmed, so for now I’m just starting to make general plans for the birth and how I want to care for my newborn.

With Tony teaching part-time and me working from home, it’s likely we’ll be on a pretty tight budget for at least the first year of baby’s life. Not surprisingly, a lot of my plans are focused on raising a baby frugally. But money isn’t the only thing I’m considering.

I’m feeling overwhelmed, so if you’re a mom with experience in any of these areas, I’d love your input. Let’s keep it positive, though! I don’t want to hear about why I can’t do this or that.

Natural birth

I’m preparing myself for an unmedicated natural birth. My mom gave birth this way four times, and it’s something that I’ve always known I wanted to do. There are a million different factors, and I realize that circumstances don’t always allow for completely natural birth, but I’m sure going to try!

I’m reading up now on how best to prepare myself for a safe natural birth, and I’m registered for a Bradley Method childbirth class starting in July. My OB is on board as much as she can be — she basically says natural is fine with her, but we’ll have to discuss induction or other options if the baby or me is in danger. I would have preferred a midwife, but unfortunately I couldn’t find a midwife in my insurance network.

Breastfeeding

Formula is expensive, guys! Breastfeeding is practically free. And studies show breastfeeding is good for mama and baby. So I’m going for it! The hospital where I’m giving birth is one of 92 in the country deemed “baby friendly” by UNICEF and the World Health Organization. That means they follow best practices that ensure a good start for moms who choose breastfeeding. Every bit helps! But I know that education and preparation are so important for successful breastfeeding, so I’m doing all I can to hold up my end.

Cloth Diapering

Yep. I’m doing it! According to Green Baby Guide’s figures, cloth diapers can save you as much as $1757 over the course of your baby’s diapered years. This number may be off depending on a wide variety of factors, but money isn’t the only reason cloth diapers appeal to me. They’ll keep my newborn’s 10-12 diapers a day out of the landfills, too.

I still have a lot of research to do on the subject, and I suspect the most valuable research won’t even happen until after the baby is here and we can test different methods. But as of now, I’m drawn to a prefolds/cover system, which seems to be the cheapest and simplest option. Expect more on this topic as I learn more about it, though!

So that’s what’s been on my mind. I’m already overwhelmed, and I haven’t even started looking at cribs and car seats. Yikes.

Photo by aliedwards

13 weeks

If you’ve noticed my absence (or my complaining when I do post), then you already know that the first trimester has been challenging for me. Between constant nausea, extreme fatigue, and a long list of other completely normal but annoying symptoms, I’ll be happy to say goodbye to the first trimester next week.

After watching all three of my sisters go through difficult pregnancies, I should have been prepared for the worst when it comes to symptoms. We have a long history of rough pregnancies. Despite my discomfort, I take comfort in the fact that all of my symptoms are normal, and all of them are indicative of a strong, healthy baby in there.

I think one of the most surprising things for me so far has been how completely pregnancy has overtaken my life. I guess I always imagined it being something in the background, especially for the first few months before you start growing. But nope. Even without the nausea (which has rendered me pretty much useless on some days), I’m surprised at how much this baby has already changed my life.

For starters, my motivation seems to have taken a permanent vacation. I used to work 50 hours a week and maintain this blog, and I still had time for personal projects and housekeeping. These days, I barely have the energy to get up and get dressed, let alone tackle a mile long to do list.

The most surprising pregnancy side effect so far? Spelling. I don’t use spell checkers. I’m the person everyone asks when they need to spell a word. But the pregnancy has somehow overtaken the part of my brain devoted to spelling and left it useless. The other day, I genuinely forgot how to spell the word “tomorrow.” After typing “tommorrow” and “tommorow” I stared at it for five minutes before I finally gave up and asked Tony how to spell it. He looked at me like I was a pod person.

I’m also having trouble with the part of my brain that manages any information that isn’t necessary to my immediate survival. Facts, trivia, and even current events that used to be easy for me to remember have disappeared.

I’m hoping the baby brain is a temporary side effect.

I also wasn’t expecting to start showing this early, but I’ve already got a bump. That runs in my family, too. I think it’s a combination of short torsos and the way we carry babies. I just hope that showing early doesn’t mean I’ll get ridiculously huge.

I’ve almost made it through the first trimester, though, so that’s something to celebrate! I had my second prenatal appointment yesterday, and I heard a strong, healthy heartbeat at 150 bpm. The doctor had no trouble finding it, but she did struggle to count the beats, because my baby won’t stay still. She said that’s another sign that he or she is strong and healthy.

In the beginning I had a strong premonition that I was going to have a boy. Now as the pregnancy goes on, I feel any certainty I had about that fading. At this point, I have no strong feelings one way or the other. So I’m definitely looking forward to finding out sometime in July.

To my pregnant readers, or those of you who’ve been pregnant before, am I crazy to blame my spelling problems on the pregnancy? What kind of crazy things has pregnancy done to your brain?

Business as usual

We’ve been back since last Wednesday, but I’ve been dragging my feet about getting back to my routine. Vacation was wonderful, of course, but exhausting. I spent a lot of time looking for a place to sit down as we toured the cities. But my goal was to let my pregnancy interfere with our plans as little as possible, and I think I succeeded. We saw and did almost everything on our lists, and we had the time of our lives — even if I did spend some of it feeling pretty sick.

Unfortunately, I came down with a nasty cold just a couple days before we headed home. With the cold and the jet lag that followed after our flight home, the morning sickness hit me again in full force. So I’ve been laying low for a few days getting lots of rest.

I’m 12 weeks pregnant this week, so I’m crossing my fingers that I’m almost through the worst of the nausea, fatigue, and general first trimester yuckiness. Rough pregnancies run in my family, unfortunately. My mom and two of my three sisters struggled with just about every uncomfortable pregnancy side effect in the book. In a way, watching my sisters go through it prepared me for the worst. But I suppose nothing can fully prepare you for the discomfort, so I’m learning as I go.

Right now I’m looking forward to the magical surge of energy I keep hearing about in the second trimester, because I sure could use some motivation, especially now. It looks like we’re moving again a little sooner that we thought! Tony found a part-time teaching job at a community college about 2 hours away. It’s in Indiana, and it’s about halfway between our families, so the location is good. Unfortunately, it’s part-time and temporary. That means no benefits, very low pay, and no guarantee that there will be classes available for him to teach in the spring.

We were hoping a better opportunity would come along, but he needs to build teaching experience before he can qualify for a more permanent, full-time position. Things will be tough for a couple years, but Tony will be searching for a second job and I’ll continue to bring in money through freelance ventures. We’ve lived on a tight budget before, and we can do it again.

As of now, we’re planning on moving in July so we can get settled and Tony can find a second job before his classes begin in August. I’m giving myself a couple weeks off before we start looking for a place and preparing for the move, and I’m really hoping to get past the first trimester funk before it’s time to move again. We’re leaving 99% of our boxes packed, so this time it should only be a matter of finding a place, loading up, and getting there.

I’m hoping to resume regular blogging tomorrow. Thanks so much for your patience as things have been so dead around here for the past month. I have tons of pictures and stories from our trip to share with you, and I have lots of ideas floating in my head as we prepare for our first baby on a limited budget. Stay tuned!