Tag Archives: Health

A personal story about anxiety & depression

This is a post I’ve been thinking about writing for months. In the beginning, I wanted to keep this blog about money. But now that I’m writing more about lifestyle and well being, I feel like it’s appropriate to share something personal about myself that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share here.

Several months ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

I know, in this day and age, what’s the big deal? It seems like everyone has some sort of mental health issue. Diagnoses of anxiety and depression are a dime a dozen. But I’m sharing this here because when it happened to me, it didn’t feel like a dime-a-dozen diagnosis.

For my whole life, I’ve been unhappy for no reason. I thought that when I found the right person, we’d live happily ever after. Then I found Tony and everything was perfect, but it still wasn’t enough. I thought I needed to lose weight to be happy. I lost 40 pounds, and I still felt unhappy. I was working in a job I hated, or struggling with money, or I was unhappy with our location, or I wanted a baby. I always had an excuse for my unhappiness.

Finally, several months ago, Tony and I had a serious talk about it. “It’s always something,” he told me. “I don’t want you to look back 40 years from now and think that you were never happy because something was always missing.”

I decided to see a therapist. We talked about my constant unhappiness. Even though I knew I was blessed and saw all of the reasons I had to be happy, I just couldn’t feel that way.

We talked about how my whole life people had told me, “Why can’t you just be happy? Just wake up tomorrow and decide to be happy.” I can’t tell you how frustrating that was. Of course I wanted to be happy. I wanted to appreciate all of the wonderful things in my life. I tried and tried for years. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

We also talked about the worry and the fear and the anxiety. In a lot of ways, it had prepared me for the worst. It made me plan and think ahead and live carefully. But it also kept me up at night and stole away the happiness that I should have been feeling.

For years, I thought this was just who I was. I lived with it like a constant noise in the background. It drove me crazy, but I didn’t ever think to investigate or find a way to turn it off.

When my therapist suggested I try medication, I was hesitant. I’m sure frequent readers know, I can be a bit of a control freak. I dealt with the fear and anxiety and depression by micro-managing every aspect of my life. I tried to stay one step ahead of everything, and I told myself there was nothing I couldn’t do. I felt like taking medication meant I was surrendering to the depression and anxiety. If I had to “take the easy way out” with medication, then I’d lost.

After some soul searching and discussion with Tony, I made the decision to give it a try. I had tried everything else; it wasn’t working. In fact, things were getting worse. I was open to trying something new.

I was prescribed a low dose of a mild anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication. The change in me was instant. It was like someone had finally turned off the static in the background. I could think clearly. I could deal with the feelings of sadness and fear I’d faced my whole life. I finally felt like it was possible for me to wake up in the morning and just decide to be in a good mood.

After three months, I can tell you it’s not magic. It’s still work. I still have bad days. I still feel depressed and anxious sometimes. But a bad day now is nowhere near as bad as my best days before. I feel capable of coping now. I feel like the road blocks that I faced before when I tried to be happy are gone. The blinders have been lifted, and I can finally appreciate the beauty in my life.

Most importantly, it didn’t change who I am. That was my biggest fear; that taking away the anxiety would change my personality or take away all of the things that had allowed me to stay one step ahead.

It didn’t make me a zombie. I’m still a bit of a nut case. I still overreact a little (I’m working on it). But now when I overreact, I don’t take it out on Tony. I don’t completely lose my cool to the point that I feel guilty later. I can cope with changes in plans and problems and bad days much better. I’m still me; I’m just a better, happier version of me.

I still want to plan. I still want to prepare. But now it’s not out of fear, but out of excitement for the future.

I know this is something that a lot of people face, and I’m sure there are many of you out there who feel like I did. You’re afraid to seek help. You’re afraid to try medication. I want to tell you — don’t be. It won’t change who you are. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost. I lost many years of my life when I should have been happy to these feelings of sadness and fear. Don’t waste another day feeling this way.

If you’re considering medication, please feel free to send me an email if you want to talk to someone who’s been there. I’d be happy to tell you about my personal experience with minor side effects and the amazing benefits.

If you feel like you’re losing the battle with depression and anxiety, maybe it’s time to try something new.

Curing the summertime blues

end of summerMost people are likely to feel a little blue during the dark winter months, but I always start to feel down at the end of August. In North Carolina, it’s been unbearably hot and muggy since the end of May, and we’re still facing another 3 months of heat and humidity. I’m homesick for fall and cranky from the heat. I start to feel like I need a pick-me-up.

Here are some surefire tactics for combating the summertime blues:

Take a short trip.

We planned our frugal vacation back home strategically during one of the hottest weeks of the year in North Carolina. Right now, it’s 104 degrees back home. It’s still hot and muggy in Indiana, but we’re dealing with 85-90 degrees instead of an unbearable 100+. We’re also spending time with family, taking a much needed break from work and home life, and relaxing. Since we still have a couple months left of muggy summer weather, this is a nice break in between to recoup and recharge before Tony heads back to school.

Take advantage of the things you love about summer.

For many of you, this may not be a problem. When I talk about being tired of summer, most people think I’m a little crazy. But if you’re like me and you’re craving fall, remind yourself of all the things you do love about summer. For us it’s fresh produce, driving with the window down, and late sunsets.

I remind myself that pretty soon I won’t be able to enjoy fresh produce for cheap or drive to work with the wind in my hair. Pretty soon the sun will set before I even leave work. So I’m trying to enjoy the end summer instead of thinking about how miserable the heat makes me or how much I dread those summer electric bills.

Start a new project.

With the summer winding down, it’s easy to feel sluggish and unmotivated in the heat. The easiest way to pick yourself up again is to immerse yourself in a new project. Find something that excites you, and get started on it now. Last year around this time, I started this blog. Now is the perfect time to clean your house top to bottom and make some money at a late-summer garage sale. This year I’ll probably commit myself to finally finishing one of my quilting projects or purge the junk in my apartment.

What about you? Are you feeling the summertime blues? How do you fight them?

Photo by jimntonik

Simple ways to sleep better naturally

sleep betterI’ve struggled with insomnia my whole life. Anyone who’s ever had sleeping problems knows that without enough sleep, you’re less productive and less happy. Recent studies have even shown that poor sleeping habits can increase your risk of obesity and all the health risks that go along with it.

In the past, I’ve made the mistake of relying on over-the-counter medications to fall asleep. It was never a habit, but every once in a while I’d be desperate for sleep and believe I had no other options. It turns out I was wrong.

Here are the simple ways I improved my sleep (and my health):

Take a serious look at your diet

It’s possible your diet is keeping you awake. Back when my sleeping problems were at their worst, I was drinking 2 or 3 diet sodas a day (to be fair, this was college). I never drank soda in the late evening, but it turned out I was more sensitive to caffeine than I thought. When I stopped drinking caffeinated beverages after noon, sleep came much easier. Examine your diet closely to make sure you’re not sabotaging your sleep.

Are you getting enough exercise?

If not, you may not be tiring yourself out enough. Once I started working out daily, not only did I fall asleep more easily, but I slept more soundly.

Stick to a schedule

We’ve all heard it before, but it’s really true: those luxurious Sunday mornings when you sleep until 9 or 10 can throw off your schedule. If you’re a problem sleeper, try setting a bedtime and wake-up time and sticking to it throughout the week. It may be tough to give up sleeping in, but you’ll feel better rested throughout the week.

Add a calming ritual to your nighttime routine

Whether it’s a bubble bath, stretching, relaxing music, a cup of herbal tea or a book, do something before bed that puts you in the most relaxed state possible. Avoid stressful activities in the last hour before bed, and give yourself some “you” time.

Disconnect before bed

Though I addressed some of the physical reasons I couldn’t sleep, I still struggle with mental roadblocks. While living during the age of constant connection has its perks, all that electronic stimulation can interrupt your sleep cycle.

We’ve all been there. You log on to Facebook to check up on your friends before bed, and five minutes turns into an hour. You start channel surfing and end up staying up way too late. Or a quick call to your best friend turns into an hour chat.

To avoid these distractions, force yourself to tune out at least an hour before you want to sleep. Put away your laptop, turn your cell phone to vibrate, and yes, turn off the TV. I used to think I needed the TV to help me sleep, but a book turned out to be a much less distracting, more relaxing bedtime companion.

What’s your advice for getting a better night’s sleep?

Photo credit: neaners

Stop making excuses & start making progress

weight lossI used to be the queen of excuses and procrastination. Whether I wanted to lose 10 pounds, start saving, or accomplish a lifelong goal, today was never the right day for it. I always made lofty plans for the future, but I didn’t realize that when it comes to accomplishing your goals, tomorrow is no good. The only way to make progress is to start today.

Constantly making excuses for why tomorrow is better is a good way to prevent yourself from ever making progress at all. The day I realized that my temporary delays were holding me back, and setting a goal for tomorrow results in a never-ending delay, I discovered the key to achieving all of my goals.

Here’s how to get motivated if you’re battling excuses:

Tell yourself enough is enough.

Have you been talking about losing that last 10 pounds (or 50) for the past two years, but always have good reason to wait? “My diet starts after this weekend,” or “As of January 1, I am on a diet,” were my mantras for years. One day I finally said enough is enough. My diet started that minute, and 6 months later I was 40 pounds thinner. Enough is enough. It’s time to get started, because there will always be a reason to wait.

Visualize your goal.

Now that you’ve gotten started, you’re at the hardest part: you know what you want, but you haven’t started to see the motivating results. Now is the time when you need to remind yourself of how sweet it will be when you’ve accomplished your goal. It helps me to remind myself with a little symbol for what I want. Whether it’s your wedding photo from when you were at your ideal weight or a picture of the dream house you’re saving to buy, give yourself a reason to push through the tough part before you start seeing your progress.

Track your progress.

Once you do start to see progress, it’s essential that you do whatever it takes to maintain your motivation. When I was losing weight, I weighed myself daily and took pictures in my bathing suit so I could compare and see the changes. If you’re saving money or paying off debt, tally your total saved or paid every week and figure out a percentage for your progress. Seeing that percentage increase with every dollar will keep you going.

Good luck achieving your goals, and remember, the only way you’re going to get there is if you get started right now!

Photo credit: nataliej

Living well isn’t just about money

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the direction of this blog. The truth is, the more settled we become in frugality, the harder it’s become for me to find inspiration for finance-related posts. As Tony and I continue to live a healthy, simple lifestyle, though, I’ve been hit with a ton of inspiration and ideas about simplicity and healthy living.

This is a frugal blog, and I want it to remain a frugal blog. But I’ve been doing some thinking about what frugality really means to me and why I started this blog and this lifestyle to begin with.

When I started this blog, I wanted to document our financial journey and learn new ways to save money. But more than that, I wanted to live healthfully, happily, and simply. That’s why I named the blog “Living Well on Less.” Above all else, I want to live well (don’t we all?). Spending wisely is just another part of living well. Budgeting and saving free us from the stress of paycheck-to-paycheck living and allow us to focus on living a simple, healthy lifestyle.

As I approach the 1-year anniversary of this blog, I’d like to shift my focus just a little bit. I’ll be writing more about lifestyle, simple living, healthy living, and, as my blog title says, living well.

This doesn’t mean I’m abandoning finance posts. After all, mindful spending is a huge part of the simple, frugal lifestyle. I’ll still write about saving money and spending wisely. But I’ll also be writing more about health and wellness, happiness, and simplicity. I’ve always written on these topics, but in the past I felt compelled to tie them in somehow with finance. From now on, all of my posts won’t be related to finance. Some of them will just fall under the umbrella of living well.

I hope you’ll find this updated theme helpful and interesting. I’m so excited! I have a ton of ideas, and I can’t wait to share them with you.

As always, feel free to contact me or comment if you have suggestions for topics you’d like to read about on “Living Well on Less.” Thanks for reading!

Beauty doesn’t have to be expensive

frugal beauty

One of the most frustrating things about the frugal world is while most people acknowledge that everyone is different when it comes to budgeting and spending, the approach to beauty is relatively one size fits all. The consensus seems to be that you don’t need to spend money on beauty products.

But personal appearance is an important part of living your best life. In order to be confident, it’s essential that you feel comfortable in your skin, whatever that means to you. Everyone is different, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to invest in your personal appearance to ensure your confidence.

That doesn’t mean beauty budgets don’t need limits, though. As I’ve said many times, the trick to living a full frugal life is balance. Here are some tips to ensure you look and feel your best without blowing your budget:

Prioritize.

What is most important to you when it comes to appearance? Do you have sensitive skin that requires specialty makeup or lotion? Are you self conscious about your body and need certain clothes to feel comfortable? Figure out what it is that makes you feel your best, and focus your budget there.

My naturally curly hair is dry, frizzy, and requires a lot of effort to look nice. I spend a little more on shampoo and hair products, but I wash and style it less frequently to cut back on the products I’m using. Look for compromises to reduce the impact of your beauty  needs on your budget.

Try alternatives.

Don’t assume that the most expensive product is your only option. I spent years trying different hair care products to find a balance between quality and price. I’ve settled on some moderately priced hair care products bought in bulk to give me the results I want while spending the least amount possible. Don’t be afraid to experiment with other brands, generics, and even natural alternatives like baking soda and vinegar. If you can get the desired effect without spending as much, it’s win-win.

Go for quality, not quantity.

Find makeup products that work for you, and stick with them. If you have a drawer full of cosmetics, really consider how often you’re using those products. Wouldn’t your money be better spent on a few high quality products that work well for you? Really consider how much you need to look your best. Try to limit yourself to cosmetics that you’ll use every day.

If stylish clothing is important to you, it’s okay to spend a little more on the latest styles, but if you’re buying expensive fashions you’ll have to get by with fewer clothing items. Try to stick with classic styles that are likely to be fashionable for longer than passing trends. You’ll look stylish without having to buy a new wardrobe every season.

Focus on you.

So much of fashion and beauty is based on other people deciding what’s trendy, fashionable, and acceptable for everyone. The problem is that the beauty and fashion industry is focused on convincing you that you have to spend a lot to be beautiful. Do your best to focus on what makes you feel comfortable. The point isn’t to impress the world with a large collection of clothing and shoes; the point is to make sure you feel comfortable and look your best.

Ignoring the world’s perception of beauty is a difficult habit to break, but it’s an important step in looking and feeling confident without putting yourself into debt.

Money saving habits wreaking havoc on your health

Last week I wrote that frugal eating habits are also healthy eating habits. Since Tony and I restricted our budget even more, we’ve experienced a ton of positive health benefits, including weight loss, increased energy, and better sleep. It’s really made me start thinking about the balance between frugality and good health.

The truth is, it’s possible to take it to the extreme and practice unhealthy habits by trying to save money. As with other aspects of frugality, maintaining good health on a frugal budget requires balance. Here are some money habits that may be wreaking havoc on your health.

Cheap processed food

It’s no secret that fast food is cheap and convenient. Sunday paper coupons and sales can help you purchase processed foods at the grocery store for next to nothing. But at what cost? The recent documentary, “Food Inc.,” highlights the dangers of low-cost foods, and why they’re making the nation overweight and unhealthy. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I do recommend avoiding “cheap” food. Instead, shop smart for fresh foods, buy produce when it’s on sale, and always strike a balance between food cost and good nutrition.

Avoiding health care

When our budget was at its tightest, we did the unthinkable: we lived for a year without health insurance. Dumb. The truth is, private health insurance isn’t nearly as expensive as you think if you’re young and relatively healthy. My husband’s costs $148 a month. Even if you have health insurance, you may be avoiding the doctor to avoid paying co-pays. Skipping checkups, refusing to visit the doctor, or ignoring health problems to avoid health costs is not a smart way to save money. That $20 co-pay could turn into thousands in medical bills if you’re not treated promptly.

Skipping exercise

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to pay for a gym membership to get active. I’ve found that $20 a month for gym membership is well worth the cost, but you may not be able to fit even $20 a month into your budget. If that’s the case, check out an exercise DVD from your library, go for a jog, or take a bike ride. You don’t need to spend money to get in shape.

Stressing about money

I’ve said it before: frugality is about improving your quality of life. Putting yourself under constant stress about money can lead to a wide array of health problems. If you find yourself obsessing about money because of your frugal habits, take a step back. Remember that the whole point of being frugal is to live a healthier, happier lifestyle by reducing the amount of stress you face about money.

Healthy eating is frugal eating

Photo by nataliemaynor
Photo by nataliemaynor

One of the biggest myths I hear when it comes to dieting and healthy eating is that it’s too expensive to sustain on a frugal budget. This absolutely isn’t the case. In fact, many of the eating habits that are good for your body are also good for your budget.

Despite being on a limited cash budget, I’ve lost 7 pounds this summer using these frugal, healthy habits.

Eat at home.

It’s a no-brainer, but honestly, the best thing you can do for your health and your bank account is stop going out to eat.

Shop smart for whole foods.

One of the biggest reasons I’m not a big couponer is that we don’t buy processed foods, and coupons aren’t available for things like produce and fresh meat. While we could get processed items for next to nothing with coupons, I compare nutritional value. You’ll get more nutritional bang for your buck by shopping for fresh produce and meats.

So how do you cut costs on whole foods without coupons? Shop in season and shop on sale. Fresh fruits and vegetables can get quite pricey, but each week there’s something on special. Plan your meals around these items to maximize your grocery dollars without eating unhealthy processed foods.

Plan your meals and avoid mindless snacking.

Those snack foods will kill your budget and your waist line! When you’re finished with your menu, take a serious look at your grocery list. Eliminate anything that won’t be used for a meal.

Snacks aren’t off limits, they just have to be planned like meals. I buy fruits that are on sale or sometimes cheese if the price is right to eat in a small portion and keep my metabolism up. But the important thing is these snacks are part of my menu plan, and I buy only what I need for the week. Throwing snack foods into the cart because they look good and snacking throughout the day without thinking about it is a good way to pile on dollars and extra calories.

Buy only what you need.

If you’re throwing away a lot of food at the end of the week, you’re not only spending too much, you’re also giving yourself too many options. One of the biggest mistakes I made is buying a huge variety of foods to allow myself a lot of options. However, studies show that when people are presented with lots of options, they tend to eat more. Eliminate the temptation and the waste by making a menu plan and sticking to it.

Eat less.

Two years ago when I lost 40 pounds, the first big realization I made was just how many extra calories I was consuming each day. The truth is, a lot of people are eating much more than is necessary to stay healthy and fuel their bodies. You may have to spend more on whole foods, but if you’re not snacking on processed foods in between and you’re eating the right amount at meals, it will even out.

A day off from my to-do list

relaxOne of the easiest goals I set when I came up with The List was taking a day off for no reason. At least it should have been easy. Unfortunately, taking time off has always been tough for me.

Like a lot of women, I’m always juggling a million things at once. I’m a wife, an employee, a blogger, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a dog owner, CFO of our household … and my responsibilities continue to grow. With so many things to do, it’s hard to take a break. Even on vacations, I have a long list of what we want to do and see. There’s never time to just sit and be.

My point isn’t to whine. To be honest, I don’t know that I could live any other way. I enjoy being busy, taking on responsibility, crossing things off my to-do list. There’s nothing more satisfying for me, and I wouldn’t continue to add to my list if I didn’t relish in getting it all done. If I had to sit still more than a few minutes at a time, I’d probably go crazy.

I’ve gotten so used to being so busy all the time, though, that I forget sometimes that taking a day off is an option. My days are spent with one to-do list after another, which is fine most of the time, but I need to remember that it’s okay if I don’t get everything done sometimes. It’s okay if I take a little time off.

Last Monday morning after my parents left, I was feeling overwhelmed. We had such a great time with them, but I had a long list of to-dos, and not enough time to finish them. I was exhausted and overwhelmed. So I talked myself into doing something I’ve never done: I called off work.

I’ve never taken an unplanned day off from any job. I’ve worked through fevers, personal crises, and any number of other events when I really just wanted to stay home.

After debating with myself for an hour, I finally called my boss and told him I wouldn’t be coming in. I was stressed about his reaction, but I wasn’t surprised that he was supportive. I’ve been there for a whole year, and this is the first time I’ve called off without requesting the time off at least a week in advance.

In order for this to be a true day off, though, I couldn’t treat it like another busy weekend. I spent a little time writing, but other than that I didn’t cross anything off my to-do list. I didn’t do my laundry. I let the dishes pile up. I watched movies, took an afternoon nap, and spent the day doing nothing.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel guilty at the end of the day. I’d taken a full day off, and nothing was done. But it was a wonderful reminder that doing nothing can be an option occasionally. It’s okay to take a day off every now and then. On Tuesday, everything on my to-do list was still there. Slowly but surely throughout the week I was able to catch up.

If you’re like me and you can’t remember your last real day off from your to-do list, I urge you to take one. Call off work if you can. Ask your spouse or babysitter to take the kids for the day or even for just a few hours, and take some time for yourself to do nothing. We all need a mental health day every once in a while.

Photo by fd