Tag Archives: Life

Preparing to move again

We spent Thursday and Friday scouting out apartments in the Fort Wayne area. After a lot of frustration and stress, we found a place! It’s in a small town outside Fort Wayne. Two bedrooms, two full bathrooms, washer/dryer hookups, and a reasonable pet policy. And the rent is almost half what we budgeted!

Our application is pending, and I’m crossing my fingers that everything goes smoothly. We should know for sure by Wednesday, and we could be moving as early as this Saturday.

I’m excited to finally get settled, but I’m also dreading the move. Most of our stuff remains in boxes in Tony’s parents’ garage, but things we need for daily life like clothing are sort of scattered everywhere. So getting everything together to move in the next few days is a pretty overwhelming task. Plus it’s never fun to unload a moving van in the middle of summer.

But I’m hoping to be settled into our new place by this time next week! Cross your fingers for us.

Happy birthday, Howie!

Howie turned three years old yesterday. We celebrated by completely forgetting it was his birthday until late afternoon. When it occurred to us, we called the toy we bought him a few weeks ago his early birthday gift, gave him an extra treat, and called it a day.

He’s going to have to get used to injustices like this in the coming months. I’m so sorry we’re about to ruin your life by bringing a baby into it, Howie.

In which I finally overcome my denial about moving again

A few weeks ago, I wrote briefly about how Tony accepted an adjunct teaching position at a small college near Fort Wayne, Indiana. At the time, the position was only offering two courses. They’ve since offered him another class, which means a tiny bit more money, but the pay is still unbearably low with no benefits or job security. It’s the best offer he’s had, so we accepted. Money will be tight, but this job is hopefully a stepping stone toward better opportunities.

The decision has led to a prolonged bout of denial and anxiety about a number of things, no doubt exacerbated by the 14-week-old fetus that I’m incubating (don’t ask how long it took my pregnant brain to figure out how to spell exacerbated, despite the fact that I think I correctly spelled it once in a 3rd-grade spelling bee). I don’t want to move yet again, especially while pregnant. I don’t want to find a new doctor, or face another year of financial and residential instability.

Most of all, though, I really don’t want to accept the fact that this decision puts us back to square one financially. It’s going to be a while before we have enough wiggle room in our budget to start saving again, unfortunately. It’s back to a bare bones budget and a sadly dwindling bank account.

We’re also back in debt. We currently owe the hospital about $2,000 for my insurance deductible. It’s money that we have, that we technically could pay right now, but letting go of that kind of cash with no income is a little too scary for me. So we’ve worked out an interest-free payment plan to pay it back over the next several months to decrease the sting a little.

I’m thankful for my health insurance, even if it is expensive, and glad that it only requires us to pay $2,000 out of pocket for my entire pregnancy. I was feeling bitter about the cost of my monthly insurance premiums until I started receiving my first bills for prenatal care. Between ultrasounds and lab work, I capped my deductible in my first appointment. So yeah. I don’t mind writing those insurance checks every month.

We have a lot of decisions to make in the next month, and a long list of to-dos during a time when I can barely force myself to get out of bed and take a shower, let alone find a new doctor, find an apartment we can afford, and get myself together enough to start substitute teaching in the fall.

But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that despite all the stress, I’m looking forward to moving into the home where we’ll welcome this baby in December — the place that will first house our family. The icing on the cake? We’ll get to enjoy a real fall this year; we’ll hopefully see a real live snowstorm or two this winter; and we’ll be just a short drive away from the families that were over 800 miles away just a few months ago.

Considering our budget, our next home will likely to be cramped. We might not even be able to afford a place with an extra room for a nursery. But it will be our home, the place where I’ll set up my baby’s furniture, fold his or her tiny little clothes, and prepare for a new chapter in our lives.

That doesn’t mean getting there isn’t going to be a pain in the ass.

Photo by martie

13 weeks

If you’ve noticed my absence (or my complaining when I do post), then you already know that the first trimester has been challenging for me. Between constant nausea, extreme fatigue, and a long list of other completely normal but annoying symptoms, I’ll be happy to say goodbye to the first trimester next week.

After watching all three of my sisters go through difficult pregnancies, I should have been prepared for the worst when it comes to symptoms. We have a long history of rough pregnancies. Despite my discomfort, I take comfort in the fact that all of my symptoms are normal, and all of them are indicative of a strong, healthy baby in there.

I think one of the most surprising things for me so far has been how completely pregnancy has overtaken my life. I guess I always imagined it being something in the background, especially for the first few months before you start growing. But nope. Even without the nausea (which has rendered me pretty much useless on some days), I’m surprised at how much this baby has already changed my life.

For starters, my motivation seems to have taken a permanent vacation. I used to work 50 hours a week and maintain this blog, and I still had time for personal projects and housekeeping. These days, I barely have the energy to get up and get dressed, let alone tackle a mile long to do list.

The most surprising pregnancy side effect so far? Spelling. I don’t use spell checkers. I’m the person everyone asks when they need to spell a word. But the pregnancy has somehow overtaken the part of my brain devoted to spelling and left it useless. The other day, I genuinely forgot how to spell the word “tomorrow.” After typing “tommorrow” and “tommorow” I stared at it for five minutes before I finally gave up and asked Tony how to spell it. He looked at me like I was a pod person.

I’m also having trouble with the part of my brain that manages any information that isn’t necessary to my immediate survival. Facts, trivia, and even current events that used to be easy for me to remember have disappeared.

I’m hoping the baby brain is a temporary side effect.

I also wasn’t expecting to start showing this early, but I’ve already got a bump. That runs in my family, too. I think it’s a combination of short torsos and the way we carry babies. I just hope that showing early doesn’t mean I’ll get ridiculously huge.

I’ve almost made it through the first trimester, though, so that’s something to celebrate! I had my second prenatal appointment yesterday, and I heard a strong, healthy heartbeat at 150 bpm. The doctor had no trouble finding it, but she did struggle to count the beats, because my baby won’t stay still. She said that’s another sign that he or she is strong and healthy.

In the beginning I had a strong premonition that I was going to have a boy. Now as the pregnancy goes on, I feel any certainty I had about that fading. At this point, I have no strong feelings one way or the other. So I’m definitely looking forward to finding out sometime in July.

To my pregnant readers, or those of you who’ve been pregnant before, am I crazy to blame my spelling problems on the pregnancy? What kind of crazy things has pregnancy done to your brain?

Business as usual

We’ve been back since last Wednesday, but I’ve been dragging my feet about getting back to my routine. Vacation was wonderful, of course, but exhausting. I spent a lot of time looking for a place to sit down as we toured the cities. But my goal was to let my pregnancy interfere with our plans as little as possible, and I think I succeeded. We saw and did almost everything on our lists, and we had the time of our lives — even if I did spend some of it feeling pretty sick.

Unfortunately, I came down with a nasty cold just a couple days before we headed home. With the cold and the jet lag that followed after our flight home, the morning sickness hit me again in full force. So I’ve been laying low for a few days getting lots of rest.

I’m 12 weeks pregnant this week, so I’m crossing my fingers that I’m almost through the worst of the nausea, fatigue, and general first trimester yuckiness. Rough pregnancies run in my family, unfortunately. My mom and two of my three sisters struggled with just about every uncomfortable pregnancy side effect in the book. In a way, watching my sisters go through it prepared me for the worst. But I suppose nothing can fully prepare you for the discomfort, so I’m learning as I go.

Right now I’m looking forward to the magical surge of energy I keep hearing about in the second trimester, because I sure could use some motivation, especially now. It looks like we’re moving again a little sooner that we thought! Tony found a part-time teaching job at a community college about 2 hours away. It’s in Indiana, and it’s about halfway between our families, so the location is good. Unfortunately, it’s part-time and temporary. That means no benefits, very low pay, and no guarantee that there will be classes available for him to teach in the spring.

We were hoping a better opportunity would come along, but he needs to build teaching experience before he can qualify for a more permanent, full-time position. Things will be tough for a couple years, but Tony will be searching for a second job and I’ll continue to bring in money through freelance ventures. We’ve lived on a tight budget before, and we can do it again.

As of now, we’re planning on moving in July so we can get settled and Tony can find a second job before his classes begin in August. I’m giving myself a couple weeks off before we start looking for a place and preparing for the move, and I’m really hoping to get past the first trimester funk before it’s time to move again. We’re leaving 99% of our boxes packed, so this time it should only be a matter of finding a place, loading up, and getting there.

I’m hoping to resume regular blogging tomorrow. Thanks so much for your patience as things have been so dead around here for the past month. I have tons of pictures and stories from our trip to share with you, and I have lots of ideas floating in my head as we prepare for our first baby on a limited budget. Stay tuned!

We made it! We’re here! I’m beat.

After a long week and an even longer weekend, we have arrived in Indiana. The truck is unloaded, but nothing is unpacked.

I’m resting today and trying to get us situated. Tony took a road trip about 3 hours away to interview for a teaching job. Think good thoughts for him today!

I’m going to try to get back to regular posting as soon as possible, but it may continue to be quiet around here for the rest of the month. We’re preparing for our trip this week, and then flying to Europe a week from tomorrow. I hope to have some posts scheduled before we go, but unfortunately I can’t make any promises.

Things will go back to normal around here by the end of the month.

In the meantime, I would love to run some guest posts from some of you this month. Shoot me an email if you’re interested in writing one!

On our way home

After months of planning and counting down, it’s finally time for us to head home.

We’ll be hitting the road to head back to Indiana this Saturday. We’ve only just begun to pack up, which means I’ll likely be too busy to post much this week. Unfortunately, I’m also quite ill, which is making packing a challenge — to say the least. I’m so thankful to Tony for picking up my slack. I couldn’t ask for a better husband and partner.

I’m sure I’ll have a lot to share once we get settled. For now, I hope you’ll check out the archives, leave a question in the comments, and bear with me while we journey 800 miles to our new home.

I do have a quick piece of fantastic news, though: our subletter problem was solved just in the nick of time. After having three different people go through the steps to sublet our apartment and back out at the last minute, I was incredibly frustrated. I was also under a lot of stress.

We finally decided to throw up our hands. We gave our landlords notice that we’d be moving out May 1, and they agreed to put our apartment back on the market. We’d only be responsible for rent until they could find a new renter. Our hope was that they’d find someone to move in by June 1, so we’d only have to pay a month of rent, but we were bracing ourselves to pay all three months if they couldn’t find a renter.

Thankfully, they notified me last week that they found a renter who will be moving in May 15! That means we’ll only have to pay 2 weeks’ rent! And they’re letting us out of the lease entirely, which means we don’t have to worry about the risks involved with subletting. It is a HUGE blessing, and it couldn’t have come at a better time for us. What a relief!

I’ll be checking on comments in the next few days, but I probably won’t have a chance to post anything substantive until next week. Next time you hear from me, I’ll be a resident of Indiana once again, and we’ll be starting a brand new chapter in our lives. I can’t wait to share it with you! :)

Photo by haumont

Why I’m a money multitasker

Last week’s post about holding off on paying down debt sparked a little controversy in the comments. I wanted to clarify some of my views, because there seems to be some confusion about my financial philosophy.

First of all, I am not debt free. I have never claimed to be. Like most 25-year-olds, my husband and I both carry student loan debt. I’ve written about it before. I don’t regret a day of my education, but I do regret some of my financial choices during that time. But it’s done now.

My husband is a graduate student. I earn an entry level salary. We’ve been blessed with a few pay increases over the past few years, but our income remains pretty low by today’s standards.

When I started this blog, I was depressed about our financial situation. We had credit card debt, student loan debt, no savings, tuition to pay, and we still felt like we didn’t have any money left over for fun. I wanted to learn to save without sacrificing fun.

Since then we’ve adapted to spending very little money in our daily lives. We don’t eat out. We shop the clearance racks (when we do shop). We meal plan. We share a single vehicle. The result is that 30% of our income goes directly into savings. Another 10% of our income goes toward debt repayment.

As my husband prepares to graduate next month, and we prepare to close this chapter in our lives, we have been spending more than usual lately. After three years of frugal living and hard work to pay off credit card debt, build an emergency fund, save for our move, and save for our vacation, we are rewarding ourselves.

I did not ask for permission. I don’t think any of you should ask for permission from anyone when you make decisions about how to manage your money. The point of my blog — from the beginning — was for my husband and I to learn to live on less than our already low income so that we could have enough money to pay debt, save, and enjoy life. Those are my priorities.

I have never subscribed to the Dave Ramsey philosophy. I understand that it’s worked for many people. I admire them, and would never ever judge their choices. I’m happy for them, because they’re happy. But putting every single penny of my extra income toward debt repayment doesn’t make me happy. I don’t want to wait until I’m debt-free to have children, own a home, or see Europe. So I’m using some of my extra income to save for these goals while I pay down our debt.

I admire the commitment to debt-free living, I do, but there is room in my budget for more than that. Dave Ramsey’s baby steps philosophy is focused on one thing at a time — save, then pay debt, then save some more. Only after you’ve saved and paid debt is there room for fun. I just don’t believe that.

I come from the generation of multitaskers, and I think if you’re smart about your spending, you can do a lot even with a very limited salary — without increasing your debt. You can save money, have fun, and pay down debt at the same time. It will take a little longer, but it’s worth it to me. I will eventually be debt free. That low-interest debt will be there waiting for me when we get back from Europe. And we will pay it off — on our own terms and our own timeline.

What Dave Ramsey takes for granted is that we have all the time in the world. But what happens if you spend your young life doing nothing but saving and paying down debt, and then your life is cut short by tragedy? You’re left with no time to enjoy the riches you’ve accumulated. I’d rather multitask now and know that I won’t run out of time before I can enjoy the fruits of all that saving and hard work.

When we get home, it’s back to counting every penny, just like we have for the past three years. It’s back to saving for our goals through very limited spending. We can’t forget about why we’re doing this, though. We want to build a better life for ourselves, and sometimes that means spending a little money.

The whole point of budgeting is making your money go further. If there’s something you’ve been wanting to save for, don’t wait for permission. Start saving now. I think you’d be surprised at just how far your money goes if you spend carefully.

Photo by amagill

There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re
meant to be

For the past few days, this line from “All You Need is Love” has been my mantra. No matter how prepared you feel for each of life’s milestones, sometimes it can feel like you’re just not ready. I’ve known about what’s coming up in the next couple months for almost a year. I’ve planned for it, counted down, and prepared. Now that it’s here, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed.

It’s not that I’m not ready. I am ready. But I still feel like time sneaked up on me. It feels like just yesterday that we found out we’d be moving sooner than we thought. That was 6 months ago.

The past three years felt like an eternity as we lived through them, but now I’m looking back, and I can’t believe how quickly it seems to have whizzed by in hindsight.

And now we’re in the final countdown of our time here in North Carolina. We’re in the final countdown of this chapter of our lives.  Of course, nothing is happening exactly according to plan. It never does, though, does it? It’s not possible to plan for the unexpected, because you never know what life will throw at you.

I’ve spent 25 years trying to dictate the time line for everything. I’ve spent my whole life trying to anticipate the unexpected and plot everything out step by step. Now as we’re gearing up for the most hectic few months of our lives, I’m so tired of trying to control everything.

So I’m taking it one day at a time and reminding myself that I’m right where I’m supposed to be — where ever that may be. I’m recognizing that all of the changes coming in the months ahead are good ones, even if they are stressful. Every curve ball that crosses our path is meant to be there. In the end, everything will work out exactly as it should.

We just need to get through the next few weeks, and then I can breathe again.